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I need help describing people's features?
I'm writing a story I git the theme and everything down already but I'm having trouble with appearance. Ok so there's Arizona (main character) she's 14 has baby blue eyes and snow white hair, she's 5'3, skinny, likes heavy metal & dresses like a tomboy/punk rock ish.
There's kevin (Arizona's mom's bf) he works on cars so he's kinda dirty all the time, he's tallish, Brown eyes, gap-toothed, kind of a deep, graspy voice,.short hair (brown), aftershave on his chin.
Darren (Arizona's half brother) he's 7, annoying, mom loves more than Arizona, sqeaky voice, Brown eyes and hair.
Her mom: bitchy, blue eyes, kinda on the heavy side, her hair has been dyed a little too many times so it has that shiney color to it that makes it look kind of like a wig, her hairs is blonde with black streaks
- 7 years ago
Well, you're already doing a pretty good job, but I would suggest to just do some people watching as an exercise. When you do, bring a pad and pen with you and just describe the people you're watching, what do you notice about them? How do you notice it? And remember, show us don't tell us, you don't want to stop the action to describe someone, make the description part of the action
- 7 years ago
I think the best way to describe a character is to have another character do it. So if Arizona's mom is such a ***** have Arizona say it. "It's like she crawled out of hell and into the kitchen, barking at me to do this and that without ever considering doing it herself" blah blah you get the point. If Arizona doesn't like her mom's bf, do the same thing. "He's rough, not just around the edges, but inside and out. I don't know what Mom sees in him; His gap tooth and dirty hair always hanging around her neck, whispering God knows what with her raspy smokers voice". The way you have the main character portrays others is the way the readers will see them too. Generally speaking, readers put themselves in the main characters shoes, so this seems the most effective.
- PhoenixxxLv 57 years ago
You just described each of your characters . . . ? You don't need to explain their appearance in loving detail. Nobody is going to imagine your characters the same way you do, and such descriptions are boring, anyway. Allow readers to build their own image of your character, but guide them by occasionally dropping in something small about their appearance. By doing this you wont bog your story down with info-dumps.
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- ?Lv 67 years ago
Well, you're already doing a pretty good job, but I would suggest to just do some people watching as an exercise. When you do, bring a pad and pen with you and just describe the people you're watching, what do you notice about them? How do you notice it? And remember, show us don't tell us, you don't want to stop the action to describe someone, make the description part of the action.
Another thing you can do is take each character and put them in a very stressful situation (like Arizona meeting with the school councillor, or her mom getting a visit from a cps worker, her brother at the dentist, etc), how do they act, what do they do? The point is the more you know the characters the more organic your depiction of them will be.
I hope that helps, good luck!