wedding help?

The wedding venue I chose is charging 90 dollars a head. I invited a couple close family friends however how do I tell them they cannot bring their children. Its not afforadable for me and only children in the family are invited.

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  • 6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You simply address the invitation to exactly who is invited: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" - not "The Smith Family"

    That's all you need to do. You don't need to explain to them in advance that the kids won't be invited, or that it's family-only as far as kids, or that you're sorry. Just address the invite to the exact people who are invited. Done.

    If they send back the RSVP card saying that Susie and Johnny will also be attending, then you get on the phone with them (or your fiance does this for his own family) and you say, "It looks like there's a misunderstanding. The invitation was only addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. We cannot accommodate anyone besides Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

    Hopefully they'll apologize and that'll be the end of it. But if they respond with, "But we told Susie and Johnny they can come and now they're excited!" or "We won't be able to find a sitter, so can't you just make an exception for us?" or "Well, for OUR wedding we invited children!" then you need to cheerfully reply, "I understand, but we cannot accommodate anyone besides Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

    That is ALL you need to say. "We cannot accommodate anyone besides Mr. and Mrs. Smith." Repeat it a hundred times if you need to. Do not explain that the place isn't big enough for extra guests, or that you cannot afford it, or that you hate their ill-mannered brats, or that your mom said kids can't come. Don't beg them to forgive you, or to see it from your point of view, or to respect your budget.

    "We cannot accommodate anyone besides Mr. and Mrs. Smith. We cannot accommodate anyone besides Mr. and Mrs. Smith. We cannot accommodate anyone besides Mr. and Mrs. Smith." Lather, rinse, repeat. If they're not getting it, repeat it one more time and then say goodbye and hang up.

    If they get mad and say, "Well, if Susie and Johnny aren't welcome then we can't be there," then you cheerfully reply, "I understand. We'll miss you at the wedding. Talk to you later!" and then hang up the phone.

    It's your party. You have the right to set the guest list. They can either obey your instructions or they can stay home. It's not up for negotiation. Either the invited guests come, or they stay home - they don't get to add people.

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  • 6 years ago

    You shouldn't have to come out and tell them, because on the invites, you'd just address them to Mr and Mrs. Smith. When kids are invited, it says "and family".

    If you're worried they won't know this, you can use your rsvp cards to indicate meal count. There's a ton of examples online, but it's basically something that says "# of meals" and then a line where they fill it in. You'll want this anyway, since you'll be giving the caterers a final head count and you need an exact number.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    You do not offer explanations.

    Honestly you should invite all children or NO children. Just having some children there causes bad feelings.

    Out side of the invitation envelop is addressed to Mr. and Mrs Smith

    The inside envelope is addressed to John and Jane.

    Not mention of family or children's names.

    Now most guests will realize children are not invited. BUT you will ALWAYS have yahoos who do not get it.

    IF you get RSVP back with children added you must call the guest.

    Jane so sorry for the confusion, but only you are John are invited, can I still count you in as two?

    IF you do not have any children there you can say-so sorry for the confusion by no children are invited - can I still put you and John down as two ?

    Telling a guest/parent there are only some children you will invite and others you will not invite is rude. You can tell a guest only family members are bring their children- You will get ruffled feathers. but guests can RSVP no then if they want to.

    Don't put anything down on your invitation about this. Wait for RSVP to come in, and make phone calls if need be. You do not get into what it costs, or any explanation of why. You will get a parent saying Well we will pay for little Johnny to come with us.

    My daughter is not having any children at her wedding. The groom's parents have already let that be known by word of mouth through their family. I have already had a friend ask if her child was invited. I said No, sorry, we are not inviting any children.

    (invitations don't go out for a couple of months yet)

    • samantha6 years agoReport

      My brother and sister are both children as well as my fiances sister. It isnt an option to have all or none.

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  • 6 years ago

    It does not seems to be good to tell the relatives to don't bring there children.Marriages was happening once at a time and if you don't them directly to don't bring there children then it would be bad impact of yours on relatives.Its better you go for better option that those you are coming with their should take proper care to them otherwise others are not responsible for this.

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  • Blunt
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Pre fill the RSVP as "2" . Send them an email with a list of local babysitters and make it clear that it would be an adult affair.

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  • 6 years ago

    I agree you shouldn't have to tell them but I remember at my wedding people still ask. My answer was "I wish but unfortunately its only adults. If people insist you can just be honest and say" I understand you cant find babysitting and you can definitely bring her but we cant afford to pay for a seat for your child she would have to sit on your lap". People usually find a babysitter pretty fast after that bc no one wants a child sitting on their lap for hours.

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  • 6 years ago

    You just tell them straight out; due to financial constraints NO children outside family are invited.

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