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Whats its called when you lose emotion?

my mom died the week before mothers day last year. the 2 years before i watched her slowly deteriorate and suffer in excruciating agony before her death. i literally saw and smelt the putrid evil known as death . and when she died i lost humanity. i don't ever feel good or bad everyday means nothing , life means nothing . if i die or live i really don't care, other humans lives mean nothing to me . and now im starting not to feel physical pain . i cut my hand today and it was bleeding real bad but i didn't feel , some had to tell me blood was running down my hand, and i think my blood is turning really black .

the thing im wondering is whats it called what would it take to feel alive again , that doesn't involve dumb @ss shrinks because i have talked to them and they irritate me and me me feel worse calling me crazy, thinking i;m not smart enough to know they not really helping me just want me to get stuck in the "system" that keeps you dependent on them , so you have to keep coming back.

Update:

btw if you see this question in psychology not trolling or nothing just need different opinions

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  • 6 years ago
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    I can tell you that what you went through is far more common than you realize. Death like that, like cancer and other horrible deaths IS VERY horrible and it can traumatize anyone,. so I know you are not trolling. The major religions allow over a year for a parents death ... and beyond to recover.

    Believe it or not, your feelings WILL come back, but you need to do some things to help yourself, or your mind and body might take longer to adjust to what you have experienced.

    Your blood did NOT turn black, unless it was dried and old and outside your body.

    The AVERAGE time to recover from a parents death , a loved one, is around 5 years. That is very common, regardless of what anyone says to you about this. It is ridiculous to say someone can recover or should not feel anything in a few weeks or months. You are NOT abnormal, not at all, But you DO need some support, love and some place to talk to others or just be.

    People who are not going through it or who have not been through it wont;be sensitive to the things that you are right now after this. You will always be changed by this, it is like a harsh slap of reality in the whole body , and mind, and it takes awhile to readjust to this new experienced reality.

    Imagine that in hsopitals , hospices and around the world, people are dying and it is hidden to most of us until a parent or someone dies. It should not be hidden.

    I did several things, I got involved in helping to find cures for whatever your parent died of, found support, found out about it all.

    Tehre are online groups for teen and young people at kidskonnected.org, cancercare.org, grouploop.org, you did not say how old you are ....

    There are other support for everything at dailystrength.org

    You must stay healthy, take walks, allow yourself to cry when ever it comes, and it can come unexpectedly in grocery stores, mothers day, anniversary dates to things you did together, or just everyday things.

    Make a memorial , prayer site at your home somewhere, where you c\an go and meditate, light a candle, talk out loud and say what yu need to, regardless if she is or is not there.

    You can get someone who knows this method to help you with the heavy feelings, it will at least help reduce them, I used it myself, and it works well on many things. emofree.com, the pros there are kind and helpful and trustworthy.

    Get a pet, get a dog or cat, make a memorial video , plant a tree for her, whateveryou want.

    Find others who have been through it and you wont even have to talk, because they know.

    I wish and hope for you the very best and undoubtedly she would also. peace and hugs, oh, talk to your angels , they are there .

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