? asked in Social SciencePsychology · 7 years ago

What is some advice to get over something painful?

My mom and dad have been separated since I was 3. It's not as hard now as it was when I was younger. Although, my dad is an alcoholic and has been for most of my life and its getting worse now. I'm stressing myself out over things and I'm wanting help to stop it. My dad has said he would come to things and then not show up. And then not text me for days. The other day was an important induction and he wasn't there. He didn't call me or text me for a week. I called and texted him the day of the induction. It's like I'm not worth the time anymore. Please help me. If it is advice , a song, or anything please help me anyway you can.

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  • PR
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your Dad being an alcoholic points to the fact that he has trouble handling things. He is relying on alcohol to cover or hide some sort of hurt in his life. Unfortunately, the effects of alcohol control people, even when they really want to do things. They are limited by the force the alcohol has on them. So, when your Dad says he will do something, he may or may not mean it. I'll be he loves you a lot, but just doesn't know just how to deal with some certain things in his life.

    Ask your Dad if he has ever heard of "Celebrate Recovery" which is a Christian-based nationwide group that helps people who want to recover from alcohol and drug reliance. Of course the key word is "want". The person needs to be seeking a different life-style, so this is imperative.

    I am pretty sure that even a family member can go to Celebrate Recovery since you are experiencing stress from this. You can inquire about that. In the least, they may be able to recommend some books that help family members deal with alcoholic family.

    http://crgroups.info/

    Try to keep loving your Dad, despite the fact that he has not been there for you. Perhaps one day he will learn, better, how to deal with things in a constructive manner.

    In the meantime, you need to concentrate on you and your own life. Try to allow him in your life if he chooses, but do the things that are important to you, either way. In other words, you need to continue with your life, whether your Dad shares this or not. Find other people who are positive and loving to share your experiences with.

    http://www.experienceheritage.org/

  • 7 years ago

    Whenever parents divorce, it's the children who also suffer especially at a young age. Any child that comes from a divorced family can develop mental and emotional problems, so I imagine it must of been a difficult thing to go through. Also, the fact that your dad is an alcoholic can serve as another risk factor for ruining relationships with people. Not to mention he's constantly making promises to you that he doesn't keep. Instead of trying to call or text him, try driving down to his house and talk to him about the problems that you guys have been having. If he's willing to do this, maybe you guys can talk to a family counselor or something. I'm sorry for all the stress you're going through and I hope you guys work things out.

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