Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 7 years ago

How do I become a better Mormon? I'm really struggling.?

I understand that no one is perfect, and I am far from it. I have my personal challenges. I struggle with Pornography. That's probably one of my biggest weaknesses. Anyways, to be specific I'm Mormon. I've had some issues. Not really with the church, I've just been sort of losing interest in it. But I acknowledge how much great things the LDS-Faith can do for me, and anyone! I just feel so low compared to other people my age who are LDS. They're all serving full-time missions, getting married and what not. The only thing I've got going for me is school, that's about it. I don't have a girlfriend either, but I don't think that'll solve my problems lol. I live in a very heavy LDS area. There's lots of cliches. Even now that I'm in Community College. I don't go to the singles ward for a reason. It's basically ran by the same people who ran high school. You know, like with all the cliches and what not. I've just struggled! My Dad has been in the stake presidency for over 8 years now. So he's very wrapped up in LDS things. Like socially. I am however moving to University this Fall though, thankfully. My Mom constantly keeps reminding me that things will be much better there. Because I will come to realize that I'm normal and fit in. Because a lot of people in the town where my University is located are very humble members of the church, and realize that they're not perfect. I go to Institute twice a week also. But where are those blessings? :/

8 Answers

  • Minnow
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well... some suggestions. I know it seems like most of the cliques that existed in your old family ward still exist in the singles ward, but I found that most grew out of that. Things don't stay the same. This one goes on a mission, that one gets married, this one goes to an out of state college, the cliques start getting swirled and twirled and people grow up and humble out and realize that they're not all that and in my experience they become more loving. Especially when you go to University you'll find things are different.

    My suggestions would be to do the 'basic Mormon answer'... go to Institute, do your church duties, etc. On top of that though I would recommend to start questioning everything. My Institute professor once told us that if we're willing to spend 2 hours in math studying math then 2 hours scripture/topic searching is a good idea. Of course I could never justify THAT, but if I'm willing to waste an hour playing games or being on Y!A then easily I could give an hour a day to that.

    As far as blessings... look at what you have now and what you hope to gain in the future, not what you want or think others are getting.

    -You aren't addicted to drugs. This is a big one. As I got older and I saw more and more people addicted to things that took their money, like drugs, alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, etc, the more I was glad I was free from that chain.

    -You aren't sexually addicted. You may have a porn problem, but you recognize it as such. Compared to the person who right now is limiting their future because they have to stay with their boyfriend/girlfriend (and rarely is it about love), or is so addicted to porn that they devote hours every day to it.

    -As time passes, and you stay within the church recommendations about finances, you will be blessed by not being in debt and managing your money far more than those who do not pay tithe.

    The amount of opportunities that you have as compared to someone who did not live the church's recommendations are far greater than you seem to realize. I mean, you're going to University. There are MANY people unable to go to University. Ever. These are your blessings. You did not do it all on your own.

    And then there's blessings like your future blessings. Your future wife is more likely to be doing the same things you are, and so when you meet one another your lives will blend more easily. Blessings then mount up, like knowing you both love one another, not just get so wrapped up in sex that you're not sure. Or that she's less likely to cheat because you both waited. Or that when your children ask you awkward questions about drugs or sex they're not awkward because you can say "I didn't." Knowing your children are not at risk for catching an STD because of you. Knowing that they are not exposed to secondhand smoke or alcoholic behaviors. Knowing you are with someone who understands and believes the same way you do. I can't describe the number of blessings that just pour down as you get further down the road and you see others around you having made those wrong choices.

  • 7 years ago

    It might help to recognize that everything you do because of your belief in Christ, is an act of faith. The wall between you and God is not a vast space filled with fantastic and courageous acts or perfect obedience and thoughts. Many of the great people in the scriptures had terrible weaknesses. It took me many years to realize that God responds to the smallest acts of faith. Christ said that if we have faith as a mustard seed, we could do great things.

    What this means is that you can move forward now without having to make giant steps.

    For example, I have at times wondered why a blessing I gave actually healed someone when I did not even feel particularly spiritual or when a very simple prayer was answered. I learned that the very decision to offer a prayer or give a blessing is an act of faith that God cannot ignore. If we are trying at all, God cannot turn his back on us saying it is not good enough. This awareness not only gives me hope but also has helped me to know that God will provide everything I need. Both the old testament and the Book of Mormon are testimonies of what God will do when people turn their minds to God. With this understanding, I now expect God to split the Red Sea for me if I need it.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    If you don't mind, I'm going to read between the lines a bit.

    You say that others your age are going on missions or getting married, you don't seem to be moving in either direction - why is that?

    If you're not progressing in the church, but just sort of staying stagnant, then you probably won't feel a ton of blessings coming your way right now.

    Little kids seem to get blessings for just being around, as we get older we need to work for it a bit more. Are you doing the bare minimum and expecting a maximum return?

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    One of the best things that you can do is establish good habits.

    1) Going to Church on Sunday regularly (to all three meetings) is a good habit.

    2) Reading/Listening to scriptures for one hour each day is a good habit.

    3) Eating good organic food is a good habit.

    4) Taking Gensing regularly (Korean Red Ginseng helps the brain function better, makes you smarter) that is a good habit.

    5) Living a drug free life. Illegal brain altering drugs are bad. Legal brain altering drugs are sometimes worse. So staying away from mind altering drugs is a great plan. Some boys need to grow up and be a man.

    6) Exercising an hour daily is a great idea

    (except when Fasting no food no water or no water secretly and privately) and that is a good habit.

    7) Fasting no food and water and/or no water on a regular basis, secretly and privately, that is a good habit. Moses fasted. Elijah fasted. Alma fasted. The Sons Of Ammon fasted. The Apostle Paul fasted.

    The Apostles of Jesus Christ AND...

    Jesus Christ fasted.

    They all fasted secretly and privately, and because of that they were able to open the windows of Heaven and have the blessings of Heaven in their life to an amazing degree. And whatever they wanted they could have... because through fasting secretely and privately regularly they were able to gain the Faith-Energy to get anything that they wanted.

    What do you want??? Have you thought about it??? Do want to get married to an LDS wife in an LDS Temple??? Do you want a family??? Do want to have financial success??? What do you want???

    Whatever you want you can have.

    This website delves into this subject in more detail and I think it can give you some direction on how to move forward with Faith.

    Click This >>>>

    Click This >>>>

    Click This >>>>

    As you go on in life, you will get many pieces to the puzzle. In the blogs that I gave you links to, you will find some pieces to the puzzle to your future success that will help you. Success, like anything else is something that you can study, and then apply the success principles to gain the success that you want.

    Remember it is not where you start that counts, or what sins you had in the past, it is where you wind up for eternity, that is all that matters. Keep your feet on the ground but your head in the clouds. Stay away from the bad but be a part of the good crowds.

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  • 7 years ago

    That's so sad. You feel that the problem must be you, and not the stifling group-think of living in an overwhelmingly Mormon place where everyone must conform, everyone must follow the church's plan, etc.

    Perhaps Mormonism is the problem? Ever consider moving to a new location, where everyone isn't Mormon, and see if many of your "problems" suddenly evaporate?

    Just a thought...

  • 7 years ago

    Instead of viewing pornography, you could write in journal daily and begin writing your personal history.

    Here is a link to a book that you could buy for $4.00 including delivery. The book is about setting goals and achieving your goals, step-by-step.

    "If You Don't Know Where You're Going, You Could End Up Someplace Else"

    Look for opportunities to serve others. They say that the blessings will come back to you a thousand-fold.

  • 7 years ago

    You could fit every Mormon in this country into the state of Tennessee, and they are even more rare outside of the U.S.!

  • 7 years ago

    Have faith, keep praying, and don't give up.

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