Is this sexually abusive?
My bf and I have been together two years now and things have gotten bad. When we met it was an awful time. I was virtually homeless and in active addiction. Please do not make mean spirited comments. Emotionally im on the edge and contemplating suiccide though I cant do it bc i have children. at that time i had lied to their dad, another very abusive alchoholic, and he was blackmailing me...$$350 to see my children. in desperation I sold my body. it has scarred me and ruined my reputation. rumors that r untrue have spread like wildfire...see thats how i met my bf n his friends hate me for it. He claimed to accept me and want to help me. i moved in with him and struggled with addiction and what id done. but i have never had sex with another man after. now 2 yrs later he is accusing me of cheating with many many men, especially our single male roommate. I don't speak to him or anything, don't have go near him, never have. Yet ppl he knows tell him that I cheat, even though these ppl don't know me and all our other roommates think he's crazy. He has hit me, calls me prostitute, *****, tells me he is only with me for sex, that I am useless as a gf and an awful cook, house wife, that I'm nothing and worse. He hits and pushes me and threatens me. He tells me get a job but when I do tells me to quit. Last night I had an interview and he said id wouldn't get it so why bother. He tells me if I don't do what he wants he will leave me to go hungry and sick. I'm on methadone for my addiction and depend on him for a ride or money for transportation but if I don't let him have anal sex he says I can't depend on him for anything. I am not cheating and have struggled to get a job BC of my record but I follow all his orders. I have to call him daddy and cook what he asks and give him sex whenever he says. I am a rape victimm. And was molested as a child. I'm clean and fighting for my kids. He also threatens to make sure I never get my children back. I did get the job last night but
- eveeLv 47 years agoFavorite Answer
you need to get out of that relationship NOW...you will also need therapy, most of us do, it's not a sign of you being more broken than anyone else..
i love my husband very much, i would do anything for him, i have done things that people thought i will never do, like left my son...but until he learned that a real *w*h*o*r*e is not a woman turning tricks, but a man purchasing it, or a woman judging her, i was not prepared to love him and have kids wiht him...
or rather, to be fair to my husband he always knew that but until he broke ties with people who didn't know it and were arrogant misogynists constantly trying to turn my husband into a d*i*ck...
my point is, by turning trick, baby girl, you have hurt no one but yourself, and any person that has nothing but feelings of superiority and "moral" indignation to offer you, they are arrogant, and narcissistic and who cares what they think, why would you even care..
any descent person that actually uses their head to think on their own will understand that a prostitute is a victim, not a perpetrator of a crime...jons are perpetrators and i don't care if they are male or female and society is perpetrator...
HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH, AND GET YOURSELF OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP YOU USE TO PUNISH YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING YOU HAVE NEVER DONE...
i know your fear, that someone you might love a lot will be disgusted with you and things you have done in your past that you are not proud of, i felt your fear, but honey any person you would wanna keep, will understand and anyone else, fu*c*k those dummies...
we have all done things we are not proud of, either that or we lived a very sheltered life know nothing about actually living our life and we should shut up...
or we are plain and simple predators that never feel shame...
honey, you are in a good group of humans, be proud of yourself and please live that beast you are with now, and go to the police and jail him, unless you do he will find another vulnerable women to abuse...
email me if you need to talk
- KristinLv 77 years ago
Hello, my sister. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, and I'm here to tell you that your life can get better. Some of my loved ones have struggled with addiction and I know how that struggle can affect our decisions in life. First and foremost, regardless of what this man "does for you," you must leave. Now. You can get into a shelter and get hooked up with social services for rides and necessities. Just go. Stop taking his calls. Then...
Look on line or in a phone book for social services organizations that help women who have been sexually exploited. Many cities have these now. Because you have survived exploitation in the past, even if you are not now prostituting you can receive services. They can help with housing, medical attention, food, clothing, and legal counsel. You deserve better than what you are getting from this loser, and you know that. You are a strong, beautiful woman.
Your life starts the second you get out from under this moron. Do it. Everything else will fall into place after that if you get help from professionals who understand. I promise.
- RajaLv 77 years ago
This is inhuman .You are forced to have sex for your mere existence. A man having sex with a woman under duress or threat is committing an act of rape. For that matter definitely he is abusing you sexually . Although you plead innocence the society is not prepared to accept it which is a crime. You sold your body for the sake of your children which the society is not aware of . Getting a job is a great relief for you. No body can deprive you of your children because you are their mother. Face all odds with courage . You are bound to succeed .The most important thing is to put an end to your drug addiction which you can easily do with strong determination. With the new job you will be independent .Hope it will help you to start a new life.
- 7 years ago
That is definitely abuse! Dump his a**! He shouldn't make you feel like s****, and you don't deserve it, i know you might think oh but he accepts me and no one else will so you have no choice to be with him but where ever you live alone has millions of people, think of how many other millions are in the world. There''s plenty of people that will accept who you are and you can put your old life behind you by getting rid of him because he is a part of your old life, that's how you met, now you have a new job, you're getting back on your feet, time to meet some new guys and not total douche bags like him. He's not the father of your children so it's okay for them too, leave that a**.
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- curious1Lv 67 years ago
Girl, listen up. Firstly congratulations on being clean and sober, that is hard and you have achieved it! Next good for you getting the job. Both of these show that you are driving your life in the right direction. I suspect you are much stronger than even you know.
It is high time you forgot about men for a while. Take it from a woman who knows. Men can deter you from your path, they can undermine you and take your power. You need to leave this man before he does something really dangerous, he is an abuser and the sexual abuse is just a tiny bit of it.
Take the time just for you, i think you have never allowed yourself that luxury. Go and work hard at your job, maybe do some courses to help other women like yourself, make a nice peaceful calm and positive home to bring your kids to, and bring them home.
Once you have sorted yourself and your kids out, and have your life on a positive track you wont be attracted to losers like this guy again, and hopefully you will be able to spot them a mile away. Dont settle for a guy who doesnt respect you and support your positive efforts and tries to control you any way he knows how.
A very wise woman once told me. "It is lonelier lying in a bed with the wrong person, than lying in that same bed alone."
- 7 years ago
Get to a women's shelter immediately if you can. It's time to start over. Sounds like you have been ****** in the *** enough in this life. It's time to take control! You can do this! You WILL go get help and you WILL get a job and you WILL stay sober and clean and you WILL get your kids! Believe it!
You don't need this man. Take the first step and speak with someone at your detox clinic.
- ???Lv 77 years ago
Anyone who visits hookers has big issues and shouldn't be trusted, especially in situations where kids are involved. It sounds very much like he's in love with the control he has over your life, and not so much with you. Start your job, make some friends and ask if you can stay on someone's couch while you save up enough to get your own place.
- RegisteredLv 67 years ago
Speak to someone at the methadone clinic. There has to either be a social worker there or someone that can connect you to one. There are programs to help people like you, but they are overloaded, so you will have a long wait. Get your name on every list you can sign up for. Keep fighting for yourself. You are your best advocate.
- .Lv 77 years ago
Yes dear, it's abuse....both mental and physical...get out now, get some counseling for your life issues, and make a better life for you and your kids...
This belongs in Singles & Dating...the guy is definitely not marriage material...I wish you the best though...you've had a some rough times and I hope you've gotten yourself on a better path...peace be with you...
- bojLv 77 years ago
Take your kids & go to a family shelter, be certain to tell them that you are in an abusive relationship.