Can someone check this for grammar/mechanical/Spelling errors Etc....?

Women in America went from being the most powerless human beings to being recognized as hard-working individuals after they participated in the revolutionary war and civil war. They worked hard to change the laws in America and win the right to vote, because they wanted to be equal as everyone else. It took seventy years for men to finally notice their persistence and dedication as citizens in the United States.

Update:

You apparently don't know your information. Susan B. Anthony crated women suffrage group, which lasted 70 years. I will not discuss any further.

Update 2:

This goes to Mark IX,

Update 3:

It's a research paper for life of a Middle Eastern women + An American women. Slaves have absolutely nothing to do with my research paper. I'm going keeping one focus point on my essay, and it's only on "women" Nothing else.

3 Answers

Relevance
  • Nelson
    Lv 7
    6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Women in America went from being the most politically powerless human beings to being recognized as useful, hard-working individuals, after they participated in the revolutionary war and civil war. They worked hard to change the laws in America and win the right to vote, because they wanted to be equal to everyone else. It took seventy years for men finally to notice their persistence and dedication as citizens of the United States.

  • 6 years ago

    The "most powerless human beings"? Really, I think slaves or children might have something to say about that. Can you prove that things changed after the war of independence? How did things improve for Southern women after the civil war? 70 years eh? The war of independence ended in 1783, the civil war in 1865 and women were given the vote in 1920. Where are your 70 years?

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    I'm going to check this for mechanical errors, but I made a couple syntax revisions as well. I mainly corrected an absolute. Rarely do you want to use absolutes in writing. Only Sith deal in absolutes. I'll place an asterisk next to revisions.

    Women in America went from being (nearly)* powerless human beings to being recognized as hard-working individuals after they participated in the Revolutionary War* and Civil War*. They worked hard to change the laws in America and win the right to vote(redacted comma)* because they wanted to be equal (with)* everyone else. It took seventy years for men (finally to notice)* their persistence and dedication as citizens in the United States.

    Notes:

    -Again, no absolutes. Absolutely no absolutes. Never.

    -Significant events such as named wars are proper nouns and thus should be capitalized.

    -You technically can have a comma before because, but it isn't necessary. Because doesn't behave by the rules of other conjunctions.

    -"Equal with" or "equal to," but no "equal as."

    -"To finally notice" is a split infinitive. This is another no-no. "To" followed by a verb is known as an infinitive. They shouldn't be separated. Place any descriptors before or after the infinitive, such as in "finally to notice" or "to notice finally."

    -Lastly, I highly recommend including a frame of reference for your seventy years remark. Seventy years beyond what point in history? The Civil War? If so, specify. Clarity is king.

    Hope this helps.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.