I don't think you have any ethical grounds for divorce, not that you have presented. It sounds like you are having relationship problems. That doesn't mean you should divorce. It does mean that you should work on your relationship. If he doesn't want to go to counseling, that's a fairly normal reaction. For most of human history, there was no such thing as formal marriage counseling, and where is the evidence that that, overall, they help improve or save marriages? A lot of men don't like to sit around talking about their feelings or their wife's feelings with a stranger, or being accused of stuff by their wife. That doesn't mean he's a bad person or that you should divorce him.
He works and puts the money in his bank account. That doesn't make him a bad husband either, and it's not proof that he's some kind of abuser either. He's feeding and clothing you, isn't he? In my marriage, I pay the bills and handle the money. I do put my wife's name on it, mainly so if I die, she has access to whatever money is in the account. If you are talking or thinking about divorce, then why would he went to put your money on the bank account?
It sounds like you are frustrated that he doesn't want to take you out or do things with you. I can understand that, and it is a normal thing to desire to do those things with your husband. But put yourself in his shoes for a while and ask why he is acting like that? Think back to when he did take you out and do those sorts of things that you like. What was your relationship like back then? How do you talk to him now, versus back then? Is it the case that now you nag him or have unpleasant verbal interactions with him now, but back then you were all sweet, telling him how much you loved him, kissing him, etc?
Us guys are really simple creatures in a lot of ways. We like our wives to love us, respect us, feed us well, sleep with us, and genuinely love us. There may be a few other 'levers' to pull, but if these things are done sincerely, most husbands are going to respond in a very positive way.
A real test of character is if someone can love someone who doesn't treat him well. But your average person is going to love someone who loves him. That's really easy. Make it easy for your husband.
Do you bicker with him a lot? Stop doing that. If you have a lot of negative interactions with him, that's what he will remember. He may respond in kind or kind of shut down toward you, talking to his relatives on the phone when you aren't around, not paying attention when you bring up topics for serious discussion, etc. If serious discussion means an unpleasant conversation or an argument, he's not going to want to do that. Try to make marriage enjoyable for him.
Does all that sound hard? It may be, but it's a lot easier than suffering through divorce. And you being nice to your husband isn't going to make your children suffer. But divorce will.
When he comes home, rush to the door to greet him with a hug and a long kiss, or kisses all over his cheeks. Tell him you are so happy he's home. Hug him like you did when you missed him when you were dating. Ask him if he wants to sit down in a comfortable chair. Before he gets home, have a drink made up he likes, tea, lemonade, a smoothy. It's better if you had to make it. Cook meals he likes and say you made it just for him. When was your relationship good. When you were first married? If he asks you why you are being so nice, and your early marriage relationship was good, tell him, "I want our relationship to be like it used to be when we were first married. I was thinking about that and how well we got along, and I've decided to treat you like that again."
Show him respect. Defer to his judgment. If you disagree about something, do so respectfully. Try not to have an entitlement attitude about going out, etc. Would he enjoy more sexual frequency, passion, or intensity? Ramp it up to newly wed level if this is the case.
Keep this up for a while and your man may be day dreaming at work about time with his wife the day before, and thinking about what a great wife he has. That's when you've got him right where you want him, especially if you are being sincere about the way you've been treating him, really trying to have a good marriage. If you get him to this point, then he will WANT to take you out and show you a good time. He'll want to spend time with you. He'll want to have good, long conversations with you. When your relationship is like this and you tell him that it hurts your feelins if he winks at women, he may listen to you.
All those things are good to do. I've also read that less than 1% of couples who pray together regularly get divorced. Do you and your husband believe in God? Do you believe in Jesus Christ? Find faith or get serious about your faith together and pray. You can pray about your marriage problems, confess your sins to one another, and ask the Lord to help you. That's a fast way to fix relationship problems.