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Jae asked in Social SciencePsychology · 6 years ago

Yesterday I (24/F) Ran into an Ex (23/M) at a Party, I Waved, So Why Did He Just Stare at /Ignore Me? 10pts?

Yesterday I attended a friend, Hannah's, private film screening party. I haven't seen her in over a year. She invited myself and a bunch of her friends including my ex friend (we never technically dated but we were both interested in each other at one point) Hannah, Nick and I met in a writing class we had in university in 2012. Nick would show interest in me in class (staring, complimenting my work, etc.) I'm really shy so I actually avoided him for a while out of nervousness but toward the end of the year I warmed up to him and was able to have short convos with him without stuttering. (I have social anxiety, and I'm not good with guys). Anyway, the class ended he contacted me afterwards via facebook. From there we texted often for a weeks. He'd regularly talk about meeting up, and even tried to ask me out to dinner once. I own a small business so it was difficult to find time to visit him because I moved cities and lived quite far from him (a 2-3 hr bus ride), BUT I made sure to mention 3 times that we could meet each other half way. He was never interested in having to travel any distance to see me though and would never answer that suggestion.

Randomly he started ignoring my texts for days when he was the one who texted me first nearly all the time. 2-7 days later he'd text me back apologizing like mad, saying how terrible he was, and that he was busy with school/had fallen asleep/was depressed). This would happen EVERYTIME.

I found out through his twitter that he was actually talking to other girls online many of those times.I have severe social anxiety, and I suppose, a fragile heart. I've never been in a relationship. The thought of a guy actually liking me and wanting to date me seemed surreal. I was naive enough to think I was wanted, that I deserved love. Instead I was made a fool of and badly hurt because of my ignorance. I hated myself, I cried often and blamed myself for the way he treated me. (I still do look back and nitpick at my behaviour, what I said. trying to figure out how I may have messed this up). I was a ******* mess. I didn't know how to move on from that. I still don't I guess. But I still tried. Literally the only thing I could think to do was erase his phone number (ignore any further texts) and restrict him on facebook. Just try to avoid him forever if possible. He attended a convention I was working at last summer and stood by my table trying to get my attention. I ignored him though as part of my 'no contact' rules. He looked upset and eventually walked away, he invited me to his birthday and I didn't end up going or responding.

Anyway, fast forward to yesterday when I attended my friend Hannah's film screening, she doesn't know what happened between us. So when I arrived she told me to go talk to Nick, who was sitting on a chair across from someone. When we made eye contact he just stared at me. It was a far cry from how friendly he used to be. I looked away immediately. I was nervous and felt awkward. But I didn't want to be rude, and he was still staring so I made myself look back at him and wave. He continued to just stare.

I felt like it was in retaliation to what happened last year. But last night I was willing to be civil, I was willing to try and even make amends even though *he* hurt me. But when Nick ignored me I suddenly felt really awkward, I was in disbelief and disappointed in him.

What does it mean when an ex friend does this? Why was he upset with me when he hurt me? He even has a girlfriend now, so what does what happened between *us* last year even manner? Did I mention HE hurt and deceived ME??

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  • 6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sweet heart boys are total mysteries trust me. Maybe he feels slightly hurt about the fact that you just cut him off the way you did. Maybe he harboured some feelings for you but didn't no how to express it maybe he was daydreaming, god knows.

    I say move on and focus on someone else anything else. He seems like a head case as though he has problems and you shouldn't need to deal with that- he has a girlfriend right? So ignore him like you did before and cut all contact and ties, if it still bothers you try hitting him up, unblock him on facebook, txt him, call him, ask your friend to talk to him on your behalf, meet up with him and a couple of friends.

    There are a range of choices i be made make the one right for u and what makes u comfortable.

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  • 6 years ago

    Dah, we told you not to go..... Next time stay home. I am going to call your mom and ask her not take you anywhere anymore.

    Was the screening ok? Hannah got some skill/talent?

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

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