Why can't I let this go?

I cant let go of some worries that my BF might be cheating with a female coworker and FB friend of his. She flirts with everyone including him and she is pretty sleazy in general. Although a mutual coworker of theirs said my BF does not flirt back. But they'd chat on occasion. I've noticed recently though when my bf walks by her desk he practically ignores her. I've heard you should trust your gut but I don't know. I admit I've driven past her house to see if his car is ever there. Never found anything. And I check to see if they're on FB at the same time. I guess I have no real evidence of anything. So why can't I stop obsessing?

1 Answer

  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi ^_^

    First off, your behaviour and how you're feeling is normal-we've all been there. But if the thought you're having that your boyfriend could be flirting with this other girl is incessant, it could actually be an intrusive thought-now, this is SO not a severe intrusive thought but what it means is that the more you think it, the more frequently it will stay in your brain, and will swirl around to the point where you don't even have to consciously think about it. It makes you anxious and upset-the worst thing is, the more we think about these thoughts, the stronger the pattern becomes, thus making it more difficult to break. They can of course be broken; there is a variety of different techniques that help. Look up intrusive thoughts/OCD and also a technique called "mindfulness." I honestly don't think you have something so severe, but there are methods that can help the thoughr become less persistent. Reassurance is NOT one of them. Good luck babe x

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