Do you have a hard time saying no to things?

I noticed I have this problem. I can say no to drugs and alcohol and stuff like that, but if someone asks me to do a favor for them I can't say no because I feel like a bad friend or person if I do. It could honestly be a random person on the street asking me try their product or take their survey that I really don't want to take, but I do anyways because I just can't not. Does anyone else have this problem?

12 Answers

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  • 7 years ago

    You're not alone.

    But you need to learn, or you'll lose all your money and all your time.

    If it's a stranger, you can say "I'm not interested." and keep walking. You can use a cheerful tone of voice, if that makes you feel better.

    For friends asking favors that are more than you're willing to do, "Oh, I'm SO sorry, but I can't." Do NOT make up bogus reasons, just keep it vague.

    THINK about it. YOU have a right to your life, and your money, and your time. It's absurd to think that everyone who ever asks anything of you has a right to your life, money, and time.

    You're not a slave.

    BTW, I have Miss Manners on my side. It is NOT rude to politely decline to do something you have no obligation to do.

    About favors, although polite people don't keep exact track, it's sensible to have SOME two-wayness with favors. Do favors for people you like; ASK favors of those people.

    For people who don't do favors when you need them, reconsider how much time and effort you want to give to them, if they'll expend none on you, when you need them.

    If you do all favors, and never ask, you basically train people to treat you badly. Do NOT do that.

    As for strangers, you owe them nothing. As long as you aren't rude to them, you have every right to keep walking.

    As for saying no being hard, yes. But it gets easier with practice. When you cheerfully and politely say no, and the sky doesn't fall, it will get easier.

  • 7 years ago

    When I was young I had a harder time. Over the years I've come to realize that people don't really place as much value in my "yes" than I thought. I found I could say no, and low and behold, I was still liked, still respected.

    Life is about balance. Accept what you can and want to, decline what you don't. When you accept, do it without resentment-- you chose it. When you decline, be okay with it and let it go. Your friends want you to WANT to help, not to do it with a sense of forced obligation.

    As far as the poll takers-- they don't care whether YOU do it or not. You're just a number. Wave them off and give your time to those who matter.

    And there are some things I won't do if it compromises me. I won't agree to give a reference to a poor employee. I won't sign a petition that I don't agree with. In other words, my name won't go on something unless I want it to.

  • S
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Yes, I'm a salesperson's dream come true. That's why at school whenever someone with a petition asks me if I'm registered to vote, I just lie and say no eventhough I am, because if I tell them I'm registered they'll pester me to sign their petition and I'll be too afraid to say no. At least with the people asking for donations I can just say I don't have enough money. lol Kind of sad, I feel better about lying than telling someone no....

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Yes, when someone asks for a favor.

    This is mostly because the people in my life routinely make others feel bad for saying no. I'm getting bitter, I mean better, though.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I used to when I was younger but I don't have that problem anymore. The more you practise the easier it gets to say no and not feel bad.

  • 7 years ago

    That's not really such a bad thing, it makes you a nice person to help others out and stuff like that. I wouldn't try to stop doing it, especially if it'll make you feel bad like you said. Do whatever makes you happy

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Yes! But I normally just mumble something and don't do it, or I make somebody else do it. *evil laugh*.

  • 7 years ago

    I'm that way too but sometimes you just have to say no. You should consider yourself sometimes.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Nope, I am a salesperson's nightmare.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    i don't but...using a super lame joke here: you can then try pronouncing "no" in other languages if it's easier for you:

    "Iie" - will be in japanese

    "Nein" in german

    "Net" in russian....etc

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