Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 7 years ago

How was this inappropriate?

I am currently a student in Germany, and for supplemental income, I am also allowed to work part time in a restaurant. I noted the waitresses there were incredibly friendly to me and always struck up some kind of conversation about anything, always giving me compliments, and always giggling about my less than perfect German. I won't lie, I did kind of enjoy the attention, and it was even more thrilling when a couple of them wanted to meet with me outside of work.

Well, one of the shift managers there asked me if I had any access to American products because she had lived in the States when she was previously married to an American, and was missing some good ole American junk food. I knew a few Army friends who lived on a post nearby that had American products, so I gave them a list of goodies for them to pick up, and since it was near Christmas, I thought I'd go a little extra by making it into a gift basked with a bow.

A few days ago, I was summoned into an overhead office and informed that I was being moved to another restaurant branch owned by the same entity, the reason stated "There appears to be some sort of spat going on between the ladies about you" and he held up some papers that I recognized to be printed out Facebook posts and emails full of profanity and name calling. He further mentioned his displeasure with me giving the shift manager the gift basket, stated that the following day she found her tires slashed--he said it was "extremely inappropriate" and that the only reason I wasn't being terminated was because I was 21 and probably didn't know better. He warned me in the next restaurant to keep it "100% strictly professional and do not ever associate with staff outside of work" or I would be fired.

How was that inappropriate? I was only being nice, especially after she asked. I didn't mean for her to get her car vandalized! And moreover, I thought what I do on my personal time is my business, so if I meet with someone, it's my business! I'm really upset and confused


@Hollywood No, they didn't say they thought it was me that slashed the tires, they believe it was another waitress. As they said earlier, there has been a spat between them.

5 Answers

  • 7 years ago

    Unless you were told when you joined that workers are not allowed to socialise out of hours, then I don't see how you've done anything wrong. Your boss is out of order for transferring you.

    On the other hand, the other waitresses must be kind of crazy to slash someone's tyres just because you were nice to them... do you really want to be around these people? I think i'd be glad to get away!

  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Okay Michael; you're in a different country to the one you're used to. Although some people think that Germans are loose and drunk much of the time; it isn't true. They are somewhat straight-laced.

    You took a position in a restaurant and what happened was that the other women there got upset that you made a gift basket for one of them; so they thought that you were sucking up to your supervisor!

    One other thing you're wrong to say that fraternizing with the other workers outside of your working hours was ok. That's not how the Germans see it.

    So, now you know. You can be friendly, i.e., "nice day today" but that's it!

  • Mushu
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Because as you have seen, it has caused hard feelings and jealousy amongst your co workers.

    Giving gifts to a superior cam be seen as an attempt at gaining special treatment and favors.

  • Cattm
    Lv 5
    7 years ago

    I think the women like you more than a friend and were fighting over you. Or else they really liked American Junk food.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I dont get it at all. Didnt you say she had asked and what evidence they had it was you slashing her tyres? All you can do now is keep it 100% professional, dont mention the incident, dont be over friendly, dont mix with them out of work.

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