Liam asked in Social SciencePsychology · 7 years ago

Why do people think it's easy to be happy?

Throughout my short (17 y/o) life, I've been through plenty of pain and hardship. Mental illness, a brother with worse mental illnesses, no father figure, bullied constantly, no relationships until the year before last, and even then only failed ones, and more recently I was diagnosed with several disabilities that would prevent me from joining the military, my dream job. Putting on top of all that is that I've been growing steadily more overweight, part from depression/lack of motivation and part from the disabilities.

I don't like going to therapists or talking to friends because the former always tells me the same thing and the latter usually makes fun of me and doesn't stay my friend.

But something I've heard from just about everyone is that they tell me to "stay positive" or "be happy". Yet they say it like it's easy.

When, in reality, it's not. It's not easy to get up one morning and say to yourself "You know what? I'm going to be happy, and I'm not going to let anything get me down!"

Why do people think it's easy to be positive, or to get over problems and ignore the negative? Is there some trick I'm missing? Is there some secret code that I need to read between the lines to see? Because I've tried being positive, and ignoring the negative, and it never seems to last more than a few days at most. Help me out, here, people, what am I doing wrong?

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    People think it's easy to be happy and positive, because they haven't gone through the same pain/sadness as you. If they would, they'd understand. In the future, I assure you, if something negative happens you're gonna have the power and courage to go through it, while others wouldn't. You're gonna get used to it, I swear. Also, people are just trying to help you. What do you expect from them to do?

    Source(s): Casual Talk
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    What do you DO?

    Because that's the easy-part you're missing, you expect happiness to just 'happen', life doesn't work like that.

    Mental Illness becomes less difficult if you structure your life, and get a good, positive rhythm going(do the work, and get better). So do the right things, and avoid frustrating, and hurting you.

    Getting bullied can be fixed by talking to people that can change things(parents, counselors, teachers), and not exposing yourself to people that are constantly negative towards you.(do the work, make things better)

    A relationship is only positive, and constructive, if you like you first, so first get to know YOU, WHO are you, and WHAT are you about?

    Do you have skills, and talents you can develop? When you figure them out, DO IT.

    Same with becoming overweight, that's easily fixed, eat less, move more, and the more you move, the less time to eat, so again it's about BALANCE.(do the work, and get better)

    That's the key, if you focus on the good, invest in the good, and ignore the bad, just let it fade to the back-ground, and don't push too hard, you'll find a balance, and in that balance it's actually pretty easy to be happy, all you need to do is get active, and let go of the past(because the past is gone, it is, what it is, all we can do is learn from it, and move on).

  • 7 years ago

    Every person deals with loss, misfortune, love in different ways and what amazes me is that there are certain people who think everyone feels the same but in reality no one can tell someone how to feel or think. You are not doing anything wrong, and things will work out in it's own time. Last summer my 17 year old decided that the grass was greener on the other side of the hill and moved without notice to her fathers home. I have seen her 3 times since. It hurts and everyone keeps telling me it is for the better and that I will have less stress but in my mind I think I have been a bad parent and that is why she left.

  • Clue
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    You are not doing anything wrong. They are!

    You are a realist.

    They are just Unrealistic.

    Studies show that depressed people are more realistic than non-depressed people. The latter tend to be overly optimistic and positive and this is NOT an accurate appraisal of the world around them.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

    So, IMO all this "Be positive" ideology is a cop-out. It's used mainly by people who have not experienced depression or major adversities in life and therefore live in their little dreamy world where everything seems and must be ''perfect''.

    The implication is that it might be necessary for most people to maintain positive self-delusions in order to stay mentally healthy

    http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?104151-Dep...

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