How to i get over guilt?
ok so I had my ex come over and we got into a heated moment and I let him touch me even though I made a promise to god to save myself for marriage. The guilt is eating me up so bad that I cant sleep. Please PLease Please someone tell me how to make this right I feel absolutely terrible. I don't have a purity ring but im thinking about getting one after this. Please PLease Please help me!
- Anonymous7 years agoFavorite Answer
Ok so I'm not religious and I don't believe in god however I do admire people who wait until marriage. You have to view it his way - god gave you a free mind to make your own choices in life. It is not a sin to feel emotionally and sexually attracted to another person; it's what connects you! You have done nothing wrong!
I'm sure someone with religious believe would suggest to ask for forgiveness but I don't agree: you don't have to marry someone to be connected with them sexually, yes it's beautiful for it to end in marriage but some people don't ever get married. True love is when sex finally means more then anything, because in that moment, you've connect with someone beyond anything else.
- Anonymous7 years ago
"There is no witness so dreadful, no accuser so terrible as the conscience that dwells in the heart of every man." - Polybius.
Realise, and accept that you, just like the rest of us, are only human, and therefore, fallible. We all make mistakes; do, or omit to do certain things, but the idea is to learn from them, and resolve not to make the same one again. Once having done this, it can be helpful to repeat an affirmation to yourself along the following lines, at least 3 times: "I may have made a mistake in ... ... and there are some things which can't be undone, no matter how much I regret it, so I firmly resolve to learn from this, and choose to forgive myself now, and move on". Negative thoughts often precede negative emotions. Accordingly, it's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind.
After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.
Read: Escaping Toxic Guilt: Five Proven Steps to Free Yourself from Guilt for Good! by Susan Carrell, & Good-Bye to Guilt: Releasing Fear Through Forgiveness by Gerald G. Jampolsky, & Stop Running Away: Confront the Guilt, Regret and Remorse That Haunt You by Timothy M. Wise, from your bookstore or enter "guilt" in the searchbar at Amazon.com for more media. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy. If unavailable, hypnosisdownloads.com has one about forgiving yourself, and overcoming guilt. Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.
"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing".
- John Powell.
Guilt is the source of sorrow, 'tis the fiend, Th' avenging fiend, that follows us behind, With whips and stings”
- 7 years ago
If you don´t have a boyfriend or fiancé, then it´s okay. Don´t stress, it´s already been done,if you had sex then know it is very natural. It is not a sin to have sex. Look we can´t change the past, but you said you made a promise okay, you can pray and talk to God, He will understand you, he will forgive you if you start to correct your future path.