My mom says she doesnt remember anything that she did to me, how do you just forget being that evil?

Yes I know its long, if your not gonna help please just go away now. Don't waste my time or yours.

When I was 12 my parents divorced, I know it was hard on my mom she got very depressed and just stopped being a mom. So I had to step up and raise my 4 younger siblings and my mom. I would wake up early in the morning, make the lunches, wake my mom up, tell her to shower and lay her clothes on the bed just like I did with the kids. I did 100% of the cooking and cleaning the only thing my mom did, was go to work which is funny because she worked at a school. She couldnt take care of her kids, but she got paid to take care of other peoples kids. My youngest sisters first word, was my name; not mama or dada. I had no life outside that house. I walked to and from school, got my siblings from school and went straight home. As the years went by, it only got worse. My mom started beating me, and I'm not talking about getting spanked, I mean she beat me. Dragged down the hallway by my hair while getting beat with whatever she could get her hands on (hangers, shoes, hammers, broken 2x4s that had rusty nails, fly swatters,) she even threatened kill me once, said she bury me in the backyard and tell everyone I went to live with my sick grandma.. I'm older now, moved out and got married, my moms gotten help and she's better. But inside I'm still the 12 year old little girl crying herself to sleep, asking God Why. I've been told I should talk to someone about it, but I know talking to a counselor isn't gonna help me, I need my mom to answer those questions, she should be the one I get mad at yell at, not another counselor, I've had them before and it didn't help at all. I can't let myself open up to them they way I should to get the help I need theres a brick wall the size of Rhode Island around that part of me. I've tried talking to her about it, but every time she just says she doesn't remember any of it. WTF! How can you forget?

5 Answers

  • frank
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    A lot of people suffer in life in the hands of other human beings. You loved your mother so much that you did not report her so that a better home would be found for you and the other children---or perhaps you did not know where to go to seek help. All these bad experiences have left scars on your soul, and most of us have them. What do you think of girls in Afghanistan whose faces are being splashed with acid, and whose noses are being cut off? Are you happy now with your life? At least you have part of it. Sorry.

  • 7 years ago

    That's awful. And I'm truly sorry this happened to you. There aren't enough adjectives in the English language to describe how much I feel for you.

    I'm not going to judge you or your Mom because I have no right.

    But I will offer you some simple advice.

    I understand that you need closure and some kind of acknowledgement from your Mom that she hurt you and she's sorry but maybe she just doesn't want to remember or acknowledge the fact that she pretty much ripped your childhood away from you. Maybe it will take time for her to acknowledge that fact, and maybe even apologize.

    I wish I could do something more than just state the obvious. But I can't. So I suggest that you just accept the fact that it might just take her some time to come to that realization and just move on from it.

    Forget it.

    Honey, you honestly don't need that negative energy in your life. Turn it into fuel to succeed and make something of yourself so you can make your Mom see that your past, and what she did to you has no effect on your will to be happy.

    If you need to talk to someone, go to your close friends and other family. Your siblings will identify with you for sure. And if for some reason you can't do that, there is always God or The Higher Power if you don't believe in God or don't have a religion. Have a session with yourself. Put your thoughts out there. Scream. Write a letter to your Mom, stating everything you want to say to her. And then BURN it. Or do some yoga and reach into your core. Take that negativity away somehow.

    Let your closure come from you. Your Mom might never accept what she did. She might never admit it. Be strong and move on.

    You are better than this. You don't deserve that negativity. You are a kind, beautiful, strong, intelligent person with a broken past. Don't let that affect your future.

    I almost cried writing this. I'm sorry if I wasn't much help but the experiences and lessons I've obtained from the 15 years I've lived on this cruel, beautiful Earth only allows me this much wisdom.

    Hope I helped <3 :)

  • 7 years ago

    I am so suprised that there is someone having this similar experience with me. My dad have an affair since few years ago and I think my mom knows it but she pretends she doesn't. She loves my dad SO MUCH even he always insult her and said she's so stupid she can't do anything properly. My mom go mad on me and my sister all the time. and i mean ALL TIME. Whenever my father is not home, she goes crazy and yell at me and pull my hair and throw stuff towards me. and afterwards she said she doesnt remember any of this.One time I cooked for me and my sister, then my mom came home. She had a bite of the dish I made, and she suddenly went all crazy and said its too salty and spank my back like she had to kill me.of course she said she doesnt remember a thing afterwards.She breaks stuff at home, and I tidy up the mess for her.I feel disgusted whenever it's mother's day.I think she has some mental problems but I can't forgive her.I can't.

  • 7 years ago

    She hadn&#x27;t forgotten, she&#x27;s just playing a role to help her cope with it all...everyone had their own way if dealing with certain issues and running away from them is her way of coping...u should try to forgive her though, it will definitely take time, however, you will feel much better in the long run

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  • Archer
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    You are seeking that which your mother may never be able to provide. One can allow the past to dictate the who, what and where they find themselves or one can put the past behind them (learning what "not" to be) and move on with their happiness and loving family. You need to understand that she may not wish to regress back to that period or she actually does not remember either way you may be seeking that which she is unable to provide.

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