Hello, looking for fresh eyes to read over and make corrections on a quick paragraph.?

I have been staring at this all night, and it's only making me crazy comparing all the synonyms and options to reword these sentences. Please read through, and make corrections as you find necessary. such as word miss use, and punctuation...

There will always be those in opposition. “It is a pipe dream to think that that (Senate) bill is going to go to the (House) floor and be voted on,” says Rep. Peter Roskam, member of the House Republican Party. Along with those who’s personal beliefs are that “The Southwest is being overrun by illegal aliens who cross in thousands every day in an endless trek north as they repopulate America.” (Buchanan, 2006) Those who lobby against the bill foresee the unintended consequences being more detrimental than the issue it originally was intended to address, (Kerl Jr, 2013) including a loss of jobs for Americans and an increase in taxes to account for the predicted skyrocket of federal means-tested benefits such as Medicaid, CHIP, SNAP etc. When in truth the bill denies RPI’s from these programs for 13-15 years; by this time citizenship will have already been applied for.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Andrew
    Lv 6
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Seems fine. I suppose if you're American you will just HAVE to have a semi-colon in.

  • Terena
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    OK so I tried to copy and paste this and fix it, but your sentences don't make any sense. I'm pretty sure you just copy and pasted most of it .... so yeah ... have fun with that.

    EDIT: Perhaps I should be more specific on this. You start a sentence with: Along with those who's personal beliefs are (that has a grammar mistake in it) and then you end it with a quote. Who else goes along with that? What else goes along with that? It makes no sense. Also after reading that paragraph, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.