Will you advise to improve this poem, `Burning Desire`?



`Burning Desire`.1stDraftImpromptu.LapizD.C/Right.24-11-13.,U.K.


`Yesterday, the 23rd ~ first day of Sagittarius;

The reputation of The Centaur`s half-Divine and half - precarious.

For centaurs aim sharp arrows from our quiver - make some shiver

Yet humour is our best domain ~ a quip to fast deliver.

Alack ~ was I less of a hack, they`d sue me for all I`m worth;

Being half-hoarse and semi-human we Sagittarians girth the Earth,

Our voices though are solitary - though we aim for the Divine

Our arrows sometimes fall amiss, and we slide down slopes of deep incline.

Who is there to rescue us, when into an abyss we flail

And who to mend our horse-shoes when we can but `Neigh` to small avail?

There are no ancient blacksmiths now - technology`s the thing

So we who burn with high desire limp, like some unclean, outcast thing.

We wish the Earth much peace, but find to most, we seem inscrutable

Because though some are cardinal or fixed ~ well, some are mutable.

And as fires warm, or scorch or cook, we are regarded with rancour

By those of different temperaments, who purport to find our flickerings `obscure`.

They`d pin upon us all the woes, `twas not we, who invented `Hell`

Yet I would not be otherwise - we keep you from freezing, and cook your vittel;

We travel far, guided by stars - though some are given reputations nefarious.

But I tell you - it isn`t easy to be one in this wobbly - troubled Age of Aquarius!

Born with simmering glowing sight, we come our hearts and souls to ignite

And to give Cheesy a poem or twenty-four per day to write with delight.

Our hearts are simple, our ways unknown, though other Sagittarians do so blow my mind

With their candid views, my brain they skews - All I can say is - we intend to be kind.`



c.w....am in usual chaotic dash but what what what

is this `thing` you have about the Amish? I`m more than curious -

your `thing` about them`s near-leg-end-ary!

1 Answer

  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    In France they have a creature who's half-man and half-a-snail

    I tried to order frog-legs but it was to no avail

    An Amish myth, or rumor that I'm starting as of now,

    I saw, in my neighbor's cornfield, half an Amish/half-a-cow!

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