Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 7 years ago

In love with my senior professor?

I just started my first teaching job as a professor this past May, and was assigned a more senior professor to help "guide" me into the teaching profession. He is supposed to act like a mentor, and we actually work together quite closely for other matters such as departmental projects, etc. From the moment we met, I felt an instant attraction to him, the way our eyes locked how sparks flew. I know he felt an attraction toward me as well. The way he makes eye contact with me, how he stumbled on his words at the beginning (despite being a very confident man), how I catch him looking at me when he thinks I'm not looking, etc.

I guess there's one important fact I'm forgetting to mention. He had just gotten married the month prior to us meeting. What a huge timing accident.

He has not made a move, which I respect and am relieved he has not. Because to be honest, if he made a move I'm not sure if I would have it in me to resist ....

Based on our schedule for the next school year, it appears we will continue to work quite closely. I am not sure what to do with this attraction. The selfish part in me wishes I could have met him while single.

Thoughts on how to deal with this? Thanks all .....

2 Answers

  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Oh, wow. Very interesting conflict you're in here...

    I suggest you watch the first (approximately) 20 minutes of "Eyes Wide Shut". Pay attention to when Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman (forgot their names in the movie) go to a dance, and listen very carefully to what the old man says to Nicole. It's very thought invoking. Will explain a lot with what you're dealing with.

    I've always been a firm believer in finding your love. Sometimes, people marry the wrong person and end up finding their true soulmate afterwards. Which is totally okay. Since they just got married, they shouldn't have kids. If they do, I'd stay away from that because then you're just going to have a difficult time. If they're only a month in, I'd start getting a little more close to him, BUT DO NOT MAKE IT OBVIOUS. This is because some guys are naturally flirtatious and are always looking to impress other people even when they're with the one they love. And don't forget you're working with this person, so you definitely don't want to mess anything up. To sum it up, just take things slow. Get a higher understanding of his situation, then see what you can do from there. And only do this if you're sure you like him. Best of luck :)

  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    there is nothing you can do ---- keep it inside even have a fantasy and find someone else

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