People are constantly changing, they mature and often move away from their old friends and make new friends. You can not live your life according to how other people think you should live, dress or act. You have to do what makes you happy and do what you feel comfortable doing as long as you are doing no harm or breaking any laws you have every right to explore different things. You are 21 have your own house and car so you must be doing something right. I think that is great.
My family never liked anyone that I dated. I moved a thousand miles away from my overly protective parents, when I turned nineteen, and it was the best decision that I ever made. Yes, I totally broke out of my cage. I feel I actually grew as a person being on my own and making my own decisions. I still keep in contact with my old friends from high school but we live totally different lives, in different states. I made new friends, and am still making new friends but, I am basically an independent, free thinker. No one tells me how to dress, wear my hair or how to act. I like to think I have my own style.
I judge people based on their character and not their appearance I like people who dare to be different, it shows that they have confidence and style. If you like your girl friend just the way she is, then your family and friends should respect that.