I had sex with someone in America, now I am pregnant? Please help!?

I had been studying in America last year and I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have. One night we ended up having sex, after we both agreed to keep what happened a secret. It was very selfish of me and I feel so bad about it. This man is married and I like his wife a lot and he loves her too much to leave her. I wasn't trying to break them up, I guess I just got a little selfish. He already has two sons, aged 8 and 5 who are the cutest little kids ever. I returned this summer to the UK, and my intentions were to just forget about him, forget my feelings and move on. I began feeling dizzy and queasy and missed my period. I did I pregnancy test and it was positive. To make sure, I made an appointment with a doctor and they confirmed that I am pregnant. I am only nineteen and this is the worst thing that can happen. Not only did I have sex with an American, he is married and my family are Christians. I don't know what to do, should I tell him? Should I say to everyone it was a ONS? I just wanted to forget about him and move on with my life, repair my broken heart. I can't even begin to imagine how I can tell everyone, let alone the father, and what will happen when his wife finds out. What it will do to their children. I don't really like the idea of having an abortion without feeling him, it is his child, even if I am 3000 miles away. But then I don't want everyone to know what happened, I especially don't want to hurt his wife and children, as I have grown to care for them very much. I'm really scared, please can anyone help?

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  • Moe
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    And this is what happens when people choose to go AGAINST what God says about S.E.X.

    Listen sweetheart, the ONLY person that man should have been having sex with is his WIFE.

    The only person YOU should be having sex with is YOUR OWN husband. Whether you have one or NOT isn't the issue. You are CHARGED as a WOMAN to do your husband good ALL the days of your life. Know what that means? It means that EVEN BEFORE YOU MEET him, you are to be doing GOOD for the benefit of your future husband. MEANING, you don't go bangin on guys who promise or vow NOTHING to you. You SAVE yourself for your husband.

    As you can already SEE, you're hurt emotionally by all this. The guy was willing to fv(k out on his wife AND kids to rail on you for a night. That MAKES YOU a ONS. Men and women who engage in sexual promiscuity NEVER see the FUTURE problems that WILL INDEED arise, their only concern is the temporary and instant gratification in the moment. No thought or attention is paid to the future consequences of.....deflated sense of SELF-WORTH, self-esteem, self-respect, PREGNANCY, insecurity issue. ALL of these things CAN and do happen for most people who have LACKED self-control and have allowed themselves to go against the WAY of the Lord.

    So, should it REALLY BE ANY WONDER to you as to why you're feeling the way you're feeling? These things happen when you make big girl decisions and you need to be able to DEAL with the consequences like a BIG GIRL.

    How does this happen?? You address this issue with the man. You find a way to tell him, so he will be AWARE that he has another seed in this world. He has the RIGHT to know about it. If he tells you to get an abortion, tell him to get bent, just because you two fv(ked up royally doesn't mean you TAKE IT OUT ON AN INNOCENT BABY. You simply say, if you want NO PART in this child's life, that's fine. You can sign away ALL your rights and I will be the MOTHER of this child that God has entrusted me to be a steward of.

    REGARDLESS of whether or not you're married and he's married, a miracle is RIGHT NOW taking place within your womb. God has given you this child and you are to PROTECT, love, and cherish that kid. THe circumstances revolving around how that babe got in you are MUTE when compared to the purpose and plans God has for that babe.

    IN NO WAY do I endorse or have any respect for a man OR woman that allows infidelity to occur within the confines of marriage. I think it is wrong and it says a lot about what those people think about 'commitment'. HOWEVER, that's a burden YOU and HIM need to deal with so I will not make it heavier for you to bear.

    I WILL say this.....

    "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

    A woman was caught in the VERY ACT of adultery (much more humiliating than what you've been caught up in) and the men of the city wanted to STONE HER to DEATH. Imagine that. Does anyone want to stone you? Jesus said those words to the men and the men turned and went away because their OWN CONSCIENCE convicted them. Their sins where of the same nature and WORSE than the woman's. Anyone who knocks YOU for what you have done needs to consider what they can be found guilty for and then hush their mouths. We ALL bare our own burdens of guilt.

    And the MOST IMPORTANT thing that you need to know is that Jesus Christ suffered the ULTIMATE penalty for your sins. For MY sins, and for the sins of this world. Even more humiliating that being caught in the very act of adultery? Being hung on a tree NAKED. If there was a greater picture of humiliation and SHAME is would be that.

    You think you've been humiliated and full of shame? Picture that sinless man on the cross baring YOUR sin and sins of greater nature.

    He did that for YOU. He did that so that YOU could humble yourself before Him, cast ALL your burdens at the foot of His cross, TURN AWAY from YOUR way and follow HIS ways. He desires to have a personal relationship with you and is WAITING for you to seek His forgiveness and turn over FULL control and surrender of your life to Him. He will NEVER leave you NOR forsake you. Not in a situation like this or in worse. He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you and it is His good PLEASURE to do you GOOD all the days of your life.

    Will there be trials and tribulations? OF COURSE. Think of where you're at right now. Jesus doesn't promise you a smooth and easy street after you come to know Him. On the contrary He promises trials and tribulations. BUT.....He will be WITH YOU every single step of the way. Guiding you and walking you through the storms that your strength, faith and might will see and increase.

    Anyway......I do not envy your situation at ALL, but I do hope you have learned from it and I wish you the best and you really need to consider handing all this over to the Lord to deal with.

  • 8 years ago

    *rolls eyes*

    No, we can't help. Why did you sleep with a casual partner without being on birth control and using a condom against STDs? That's the ONLY way it's 'ok' to sleep around (I'm ignoring the fact he's married here). At the very least you should have taken the morning after pill straight away, and then arranged a STD check when you got home.

  • 8 years ago

    Well mamacita is time to start paying ur sentence for ur horny time, you are not religious person l think if ur parents know the truth they going fire u because u was acting like a hoe, so better if u going back to america and ur baby born dere and please dont look for his real father u need start a new life, if u want my help contact me l can help u lm in america send me ur email.

    Source(s): Charity home
  • 8 years ago

    it appears you r not of that coward or make it hulla.........just go to doc and get it aborted simple and forget all

    and careful next time as it is endless once you hv tasted

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  • 8 years ago

    My dear friend,whether you like it or not,abortion is the best solution.

    Source(s): I am a counsellor.
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