Mouse asked in 社會與文化語言 · 7 years ago

初級英檢作文 ..

請幫我改改下面英文錯誤的地方 ..

請告訴我應該怎樣寫會比較順暢 ..

滿分五分這樣寫大概可以拿幾分?

請告訴我寫的文章中文法的錯誤!!

那個 .. 句子沒有連在一起就別見怪了(指

我只是想方便各位大大批改而已(小聲

拜託請告訴我作文裡的「文法錯誤」

不要只有幫我改寫啊

感恩

請問:如果俺把題目的圖片跟大家講,大大們會比較好修改我的作文嗎?

第一張圖片:

一群男生相約準備去打棒球

第二張圖片:

Jack打棒球打得太用力又太遠了,所以不小心打破鄰居的窗戶

第三張圖片:

一群男生去鄰居家道歉,然後老奶奶原諒他們了

It was a nice weekend last week.

The weather was warm and sunny.

Afterwards, Rick decided to play baseball with his friends in his courtyard.

In the beginning, everything was all right, but then Jack hit the ball too hard and it flew too high.

The ball was broke the window of neighbor's house, so they went to say sorry.

Luckily, neighbor forgave them.

Update:

大哥= =

我是問「滿分五分這樣寫大概可以拿幾分?」

你打7分是哪招蛤0.0

哦哦 我把老奶奶忘了

那neighbor改成grandmother吧

感謝

2 Answers

Rating
  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    ★It was a nice weekend.

    不要加last week,這樣唸起來有點怪,因為前面已經用過去式了.

    或者你可以寫: It was a nice Saturday morning.把時間寫得更確切可以增加字數和文章的豐富度

    ★The weather was warm and sunny.

    ★Afterwards, Rick decided to play baseball with his friends in his courtyard.

    afterwards是"之後.事後"的意思.前面只有描述時間和天氣.沒有寫Rick在做什麼.這樣直接用"afterwards之後.事後"也有些不通順

    你可以寫: A ten-year-old boy, Rick, decided to play baseball with his friends in his courtyard. Therefore, he called them at once.

    多加一些形容詞使文章更精緻(a ten-year-old boy, a little boy, a young boy, a cute boy, a handsome boy...等等的都可以.看圖片中的人是什麼樣子)

    ★In the beginning, everything was all right, but then Jack hit the ball too hard and it flew too high.

    In the beginning, everything was all right, but Jack suddenly got too much strength to hit the ball and it make the ball fly very high/far.

    (但是Jack突然用太大的力氣去打球,使得那顆球飛得很高/遠)

    (make是使役動詞,所以後面要接原形動詞fly)

    (抱歉我不太確定"打球打太大力"可不可以用"hard")

    ★The ball was broke the window of neighbor's house, so they went to say sorry.

    Luckily, neighbor forgave them.

    The ball broke the window of the neighbor's house so the boys went to apologize. Luckily, the neighbor forgave them.

    (沒有was broke這樣的時態唷!! 被動式: was/were+過去分詞)

    (neighbor's house & neighbor 前面要加冠詞"the"或"a")

    (the neighbor 或the old woman forgave them)

    文章的實態.通順.時間的連貫性和豐富程度很重要唷!!

    以上回答希望您會滿意

    如果還有問題可以再問我喔!!

    2013-08-21 18:05:55 補充:

    老奶奶寫the old woman比較好

    雖然grandmother有"老太太"和"可敬的老夫人"的意思,但是容易讓人誤解為"祖母"

    滿分5分,我給3.8

    Source(s): me, me
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  • 7 years ago

    我覺得不錯我打7分只是老奶奶原諒了他們你好像沒寫掉

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