I'm in the military and my gf is going off to college next year?
Hey guys I'm currently active duty USMC (0311) and I need some really good advice from some of the females out there. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about a year and 3 months (should be a year and 6 months but we broke up while I was at bootcamp.) and she is the love of my life. I'd die for her if I had to. She is currently a Senior in high school and will most likely be attending a D1 college(Ohio State University or Florida State University) for basketball after she graduates. In march I'm deploying to Afghanistan and wont get to talk to her during that whole time but through letters. Ill be missing a quarter of her school year and all summer, she will be about 2 months into college by the time I get back. Well about 5 weeks ago I caught her skyping with some guy from Canada she talked to while we were broken up when I was at bootcamp. I had asked her before if she had talked to this guy and she said yeah but she deleted him from Skype and doesn't talk to him. So when I caught her, I got pretty pissed. Then about 3 weeks ago we were in like a 4 day long argument and when we got better and fixed things she admitted to going to the movies with another guy. She said that they didn't do anything but hold hands but she lost my trust so I didn't really believe her. Also, she told me that she talk to a guy 2 weeks before I left for bootcamp and they ended up dating for 2 months. I knew about this but she left him for me when I started talking to her again. I really didn't expect this from her because she always preached about how faithful she was to me. It was a really big shocker and needless to say, my trust with her is minimal at that. I went home about a week ago for leave and we talked everything out and we're doing great now. I proposed to her and she accepted and I want to spend the rest of my life with her but I want to wait till after I deploy. Sure we have our arguments from time to time but we get over them in about 15 minutes. I've asked my friends if I should just break up with her because I'll be even more stressed than I am now when Im in country. They give me mixed answers. Some say that we should just break up and if it's meant to be then we will get back together. Others say that if we really love eachother then we should just wait and see what happens and give it a shot. I'm stuck between a rock in a hard place. I've been completely faithful to this girl and I haven't spoken to another girl since I've been back from boot camp. It's just that I have really bad trust issues with her and I always think she's up to something, It's hard for me to believe her because of the past. A part of me will never forget what she did. She gets mad when I question her and I say I kind of have a right to know because I don't want her messing up. She says that she will never do anything like that again and cried to me on the phone because she didn't want to lose me. I sometimes ask her about college and me being deployed and she always says baby I'm not going anywhere I want to spend the rest of my life with you. She says that she wont have time to do anything in college because she'll be busy with bball and schooling. But I know how it goes, I've hung out with college kids ever since I was a Sophomore in high school. I know she'll get hit on because shes a very good looking girl. And I know that she wont always be busy and I just have a feeling one night she'll have free time and go to a party and mess up. I've asked my family about what I should do and they give me mixed signals. Some of my family say that I should just break up with her and if it's meant to be we will get back together after college but I don't want that. It would tear me apart if I had to leave her but I don't want to be depressed while in afghan. Other family say that if we love eachother we should just give it a shot and see what happens. I mean is it really that hard to stay faithful? Are there any military wives/ girlfriends that can help me out here? I just wish I really knew what to do. I don't want to lose this girl, she means the world to me and I have spent so much time with her and have such a deep physical and emotional bond and attraction to her it's crazy. I'm a good looking guy and people say that I'll have no problem finding another girl if worse comes to worse but I just don't want to leave her. Help from the females would really be appreciated. Thanks for your time and please don't say stupid **** like break up with the hoe or some short answer like that.
- captb007Lv 77 years agoFavorite Answer
You should just be friends. Suspend the engagement and both agree to see other people. She doesn't have to tell you what she does and you don't have to tell her what you do. You can still be friends and see each other and talk. This way she can have a normal college experience and you can get through your marine duties. After you leave the service you can see where you both stand. Good Luck.
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- !Lv 57 years ago
I think she's losing interest in you and fast. Honestly, I'd say most people (and girls alike) don't have a respectful view on guys who choose army instead of education&career. Personally, I'm very grateful for those serving the country but these acts go unnoticed and unappreciated sometimes. Don't let this get to you but do try to focus on your dreams after the army and discuss them so that she knows you take your life (life with her) seriously!
- 4 years ago
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- 7 years ago
aww, i feel like this is a "Dear John" moment. But, i think you should stay with her if things are working out. no relationship is perfect. and really, if she is the love of your life don't let her go. Give her a chance and if she fails upon your return it wasnt meant to be.