I deeply miss my childhood, will it ever go away when i get a job or have a girlfriend as i get older?

Ok so when i was about 15, is when i wanted to be younger, im 17 now, i miss my childhood alot, i get depressed. I miss being ages 4-6 years old hanging around with my bros who were younger, and starting kindergartin at 5, just the atmosphere was cool, and music, i miss the old nickoloadeon, ik this may sound wierd but its like low self esteem, like there was something i liked about the way i looked back then, and looking at the pics now, feel i wana be tht age again cuz i liked how i looked, i mean i like how i look now, its just i feel i looked good better back then than now, and everytime i see kids on tv who ar 5-6 years old, i get depressed cuz i reminisce on my childhood, i cant watch any childhood tv shows cuz i get depressed and ill miss my childhood, its usually shows tht are from 1998-2004 and whenever i see the years i feel down and would want to relieve my childhood, now its getting to the point now where i dont even want kids cuz im afraid tht if i do, im gona feel very depressed and would want to be 5 or 6 again, and i started looking up people researched and my friends said you could be any age in heaven, and now the bummer part is now tht i know tht, part of me wants to die young, but part of me wants to die old, and i really wana die old, and its caused alot of anexity cuz im worried tht if a part of me wants to die young, then ill die young which is wht i dont want, so im feeling a mixture of anexity and depression, i want to enjoy life, enjoy driving being an adult, and i honestly dont wana grow up, now im scared tht if i post this question im afraid ill die young cuz i mentioned heaven, and all tht, and i have no job right now, i have no girlfriend im still a teen boy tht has 2 more years of high school left, well im gona be in 11th, and i reminise about the past getting depressed cuz i miss it, its like i cant look at my childhood yearbooks, and see my 6 year old self cuz i get depressed, usually if i dont look at the pictures and pay attention to my childhood shows i feel normal, but i look into the future and get anexity cuz im afraid me feeling like this i could die young which is wht i dont want, im scared for my future, idk if ill have health problems, or die young its anexity, to the point where i feel my head throbbing, and im afraid me not wanting to grow old, could let god think ill die young which is wht i dont want, and i cant watch like 9/11 documentaries cuz since i know it happened in kindergartin ill feel low, im 17, and im trying to look into the future instead of the past which is why i avoid childhood tv shows, and i try looking at the present but its hard, i guess cuz i have nothing much to do, ik im a teenager im just trying to enjoy being a teen while im still am, and observing how i look so i can keep in memory as to how i look cuz ik im gona be diff looking when i get older, so my question is, is it normal to not want to grow old, and me feeling like i am, where i cant watch childhood shows cuz i get depressed, or me thinking about it alot and wish to relive it as best as i can and know tht ill miss it later on, will it eventually go away once i drive, get a girlfriend , and get a job and hang around with my friends, cuz i hope i dont feel like this forever, theres some days where i dont have anexiety, but most of the time i do, and also i look in the mirror and say u know i look like the person tht would live 40s, but tht it, or theres days where ill look in the mirror and think il die in my 80s, then back to 60s, idk its hormones idk, i want to die old...please have u felt like this? Is this normal part of growing up with no job, and still having parents by ur side cuz im a minor and under age, i never felt this way when i was under 15...please wht is it, is this normal? wht is it? Whenever i see a young kid like 6 years old or 5 ill listen to music to try to over come the depression..please answer this, ik this is long but please help a boy out...:( please answer this, so far i have not been getting answers on yahoo....please i beg :( i will choose the best answer

1 Answer

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  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I feel the same way as you...

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