Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingToddler & Preschooler · 7 years ago

My 13 year old son is disrespecting me,when i try to disipline him. He will threating to go live with his dad.?

my ex-husband trys to always be the hero,i will not talk to his dad. Its worse than talking to my 13 year old. I have a 15year old son that pulled the same thing,he won. hes still at his dads house,is being brain washed! plz help!! im so lost and need sum advice!!

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  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Let him go live with dad, you have to realize it's not about hero or villan this is the trap to many divorced parents fall into. You need to start thinking about your son and not how much you hate his father. You sound like a very immature person and you need to get over it now because you are destroying your relationship with your children.

    Source(s): life.
  • 7 years ago

    Welcome to the divorced life. This happens in every family. I am 17 years old. My parents split 2 years ago. I lived with my mom for about a year, until she found out I was pregnant. She was so controlling and unbearable to live with. I am the oldest child of 5. My younger siblings are 13, 11, 7, and 4. I don't know how many times I threatened to live with my dad and his girlfriend... Finally, I decided to move in with them. Coming from a kid of divorced parents, us kids are hurt inside and we don't think straight. We are forced to pick between parents. Each parent talks $hit about the other, and us kids are forced to deal with in. We have a lot on our plates. No matter where we pick to live, the other parent is going to be dissapointed. You sound like you have a lot of hate for your husband. Children can sense that hate. Your son may be disrespecting you, but you have to keep in mind that he is going through a lot. I understand being a divorced parents must not be easy either. You know have to parent a completely different way. You need to make sure your children dont get mad at you, you have the constant worry of them liking the other parent better, and you bribe them so they don't leave you. I've been through it all. Give your son some slack. He has a lot of pressure on his back.

  • 7 years ago

    What is 'plz'....sum..are you adding numbers together...

    Anyway, the only way to get children/teens to respect a parent - is to teach them how to respect.

    Volunteer, your 13-year old, at a local 'soup kitchen'.....then he will see how lucky he really is.

  • 7 years ago

    Sounds like you are too late to build a respectful relationship with your kids. They don't respect you, you don't respect them or their father. Consider what you want then explain to all involved how everyone will benefit from cooperating.

    Take a stand or let them go.

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  • 7 years ago

    Well, having been a kid from divorce, around that age, I can give you my insight on it. When my parents divorced, both parents took to their sides and tried their own form of brainwashing out both sides. It all starts with trashing the other parent. When teens and children are being told "your other sucks because of this" or "your father is completely idiotic because of that," then what really is being said is "son, half of what makes you, you, is stupid." If both parents do that, then they are being told from both sides that they are completely worthless. If you are mentioning anything like that, then put a stop to it. Your younger son might want to be with your older son. Brothers connect in such a way that when separation occurs, it really affects them.

    My brother and I are four years apart. During his senior year, he moved in with our father. I wanted to do the same my senior year. Why? Because my father wasn't talking to me and I felt alone and wanted to be with my brother again. If you can find a way to get your 15 year old more involved in going back and forth between the two parents, you may be able to establish that same kind of trade off with your 13 year old. Don't smother either of them, but don't drift too far away from them either. Teens want space, but also want support. Don't let your kids take advantage of you, but seriously sit them down and just talk to them. If you trash talked their father to where they heard it, then explain to them what you read above and explain that you didn't think about them being made up of half of them. Explain that you are struggling with whatever struggles you are suffering from. Let them know that you do love them and that you want what is best for them. If you smothered them, apologize for it. If you've been too strict, let them know that you didn't mean to.

    Let them know that you want to make things work, and just do the biggest thing that teens want: LISTEN to them. Hear them out and see what they want. Sure, they will try to test the waters and see what they can try to squeeze out of you during this deal making, but they know when they are overreaching and know that you are very uncomfortable when you agree to it. Just pick some reasonable options and go with it. Family is the most important thing to have in your life.

    The hardest part? Like it or not, you and your ex had sex and created two wonderful human beings. Whether y'all can agree with each other now or not, that is besides the point. It takes two to make one, and y'all chose to do that. That means that any choices regarding the kids will take the both of you. You are going to have to find a way to communicate with him. Don't just do it through text, email or social media. You need to pick up the phone and talk to him. Do y'all have to be friends? Nope! You both just need to realize that you brought children into the world that want to be able to come to the both of you, and sometimes you may have to tackle those things together.

    Let me ask you, do you know your children's grades? Do you know who their closest buddies are? Do you know their favorite book to read, favorite TV show, even favorite color? Do you know the last person they dated, the first person they kissed, even if they have had their first kiss? Get involved in their life, because a lot of teens want that. Again, don't smother them or overreach, yourself. But invest in your kids, invest in their father, and enjoy y'all's lives together.

    Best of luck to you and your family!

  • 7 years ago

    The explanation is not clear so I can't help you

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