PLEASE HELP. My girlfriend is falling out of love with me, what should I do?
Me and her met when I transferred to this new college. I'm 22, she's 19. We been together for almost 9 months. The summer is here and now towards the end she said that she is possibly falling out of love with. The relationship has been 50/50. We loved each other so much. When she was with me, we barely had problems. She's not the type of person to cheat. I am her first(Sex) and also I'm her longest relationship. We haven't seen each other since May, so I'm thinking the distance is effecting our relationship. I'm going to see her this weekend but the way it's looking I may be too late. What can I do? I don't want to leave but because she is falling out of love with me, I feel unappreciated and I can tell she doesn't care even though she does act like it. I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do in this situation. This is also my longest relationship but as of right now it is my most hurtful one. Help me get her back and win her love over when I visit her this weekend. Please. I don't want to seem desperate but I really feel she's making the wrong choice. So please help.
- 7 years agoFavorite Answer
Well first, you have to realize that you can't make a choice that's right for her, only she can...so relax a little and realize you can't control her.
Now, since she hasn't called it quits, take a deep breath and relax. Holding on to tightly can force someone who to leave, that otherwise may not be thinking it.
Next, lets be realistic...even if you two are going to be together, at some point, pdds are you will both try dating other people...that's just the facts. But you do still have a couple of things going in your favor.
First, if you think it might end, take control of the SITUATION (not the girl). Call her and in a LIGHT HEARTED but sincere tone ask her what she thinks. Don't get mad, regardless of what she says, just listen and be open.
If she needs time, suggest that you two spend some time apart and get reacquainted with old friends or make new ones.
If she thinks she's falling out of love with you, suggest that you take a break so you can BOTH assess the situation. them let her experience life without you (trust me, people don't like change and she will miss you). The issue is will that be enough...if its not, embrace the time to meet people and other girls (only after she dates some guy). Be nice, but not too easily approachable and do NOT be around al the time. Even if she goes out on a date, she will wonder what you're doing.
Eventually a time will come where she either misses you or she doesn't, but either way, if you take control now and man up, she will always remember that she caused it, although you left on your own terms. You and she will have respect for what you did.
Now if she says she is ok with things the way they are, still ask her to take some time and make sure she's happy...you hang out around your house, but she'll see someone who isn't desperate and in confident enough to stand on his own two feet, with or without her...that is a turn on for her. Then when you get back together, she'll appreciate your situation a little more.
Finally, remember this...girls want a man, not a boy and not a desperate man. They want someone who is self assured, confident, and can handle whatever life throws at them. They know that's what they will lean on in difficult times. If you fall apart, they see a child who loses their cool when they don't get what they want..
You just need to remember that although you told her she's the only one, there are millions out there just like her or better. And when she sees that you can live a happy life with or without her, she'll be more inclined to want to share your lives together. Remember, you life is not destroyed by a couples of moths of you standing on your own two legs!!
- 4 years ago
How do you get ex back? Read here https://tr.im/C4dEa
First: This girl may have been your first love - but she will not be your last love. She was just first. By first, that means there will be a second - and maybe a third and fourth - love. In fact, I rather doubt you really do love her in the way a real relationship works - because you fought all the time and you apparently always had to have the upper hand. If you really loved her you would have been much more considerate of her in the first place.
Second: You are at least man enough to describe what you did to make her break off with you - you argued with her about everything - who she talked to, that she wasn't at your beck and call, everything. Would you want to be with someone who did this to you? Hardly not. Well, neither did she - and she ended it. OK so learn something from this. Don't do this kind of thing to your next girl or you will be back on Y/A crying like you are now. Learn from this. If you need to get counseling - then seek counseling. But at least you recognize what you did to screw things up. That's to your credit. But learn from it.
Third: Can you get her back? No. She has made it clear that she may still like you as a friend - but never again as a lover/boyfriend. Accept that and move on. One thing for sure - stop contacting her and begging her. Do not follow her. Do not make a public scene etc. That is called stalking and in the U.S. it is against the law to stalk someone - which can land you in jail and be labeled a sex offender for the rest of your life. You don't want that. Not good at all.
How do you mend a broken heart? It takes time. LOTS of time. It starts by accepting that the relationship is over and then reflecting on what went wrong and how you contributed to it. You're doing this now - so you're doing the right thing. Stop contacting her because every time you do, you're just tearing open an old wound. Be polite and even friendly when you two meet in person (as you probably will occasionally) but explain to her that you need some time away from her so you can heal from the breakup. Make it stick
Is this easy? No. Breakups hurt all over. They make you sick to your stomach and can even cause you to mess up other things in your life - but that's why they call it lovesick.
- Anonymous5 years ago
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/C4dEa
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
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- Anonymous7 years ago
It's OVER! Quit whining and acting like a 6 year old. Move on. You're embarrassing yourself.Source(s): Just Fact
- Anonymous7 years ago
Don't mind that "ranger jones" guy! He's a sad prick with nothing left to do in his life other than to go onto yahoo and try hurt people's feelings the sad ****. Anyway, you should really talk to her deeply when you see her this weekend, even though I'm only 17 I've been with my girlfriend nearly 3 years and believe me I know what your going through.. So when you see her, sit her down and ask her what she wants, if she wants the relationship or not, and if she says she doesn't want it just tell her you'll try your hardest if she gives you another shot, also try see her more often it seems like you's leave very distance gaps from seeing eachother
- Anonymous7 years ago
John, said it all! Smart Man