Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and the Yahoo Answers website is now in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Is she selfish for being this way?

I have an ex who cheated on me and one of her reasons for doing it were the following:

1. Her feelings weren't "growing"

2. She lost attraction to me (mind you, she wants to be a virgin until marriage and doesn't like oral sex unless she is in love with someone - so basically the emotional attraction is what she apparently didn't feel)

3. She felt she had to constantly tell me how to do things that met HER standards like how to be a gentleman, how a man should always pick up the tab when out, and that her "Dominican" values stressed this.

4. She didn't become surprised enough - she always felt I needed to surprise her with things and sweep her off her feet all the time

5. She said I never visited her enough, when there was not a month past that I didn't

I mean it's realy nit-picky things all the while she says that I did everything right, I am a nice guy and you never know what the future holds with us. This is what we did over the course of 7 months:

1. Went to dinner every night on the 1-month anniversary (Every month from when we started the relationship we would do something special)

2. We travelled to New York City for a long weekend, travelled to India and Miami all in 7 months.

3. We got to know each other's family, friends and did not exclude each other from happy hours

4. Spoke on the phone daily

5. Saw each other almost daily because we got a gym membership together and after work we would go

And after all of that she says she was not fulfilled and doesn't know why her feelings weren't growing for me? She later confessed while discussing that she cheated on me for a guy at her job. It made me realize that she was agressive with me when we met because we too met at work before she switched jobs. She said the guy knows how to "spoil" her, surprises her, very handsome, and on and on...What I will lastly say is that this guy is 9 years older than her, was divorced and 2 kids who live in Chicago and he is in Virginia. Might I also add that she is medically depressed and has to take meds and see a therapist each week.

So what is your view about her? Selfish? Fantasized?

4 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It seems to me that you guys had fun and did a lot within those seven months. However, she told you how she felt, selfish or not. You know that she is obviously high maintenance and has depression issues. And to top it all off she cheated on you after you did everything she asked of you?? If I were you, I would turn around and run the other way. Let her go and find someone else who would appreciate you for you and the nice things you do for them. Good luck sweetheat!

  • 8 years ago

    I think you both are a huge mismatch. You're too needy and nitpicky - she is confused, doesn't know what she wants.

    You want desperately to label her, but in this rant, you cannot do so without labeling yourself.

    I suggest you just accept the differences. Call it a "wash" and move on.


  • Shes a wretch. Be glad youre free of her. Find someone new to shag and forget sbout this sily ittle girl and her overinflated sense of self worth.

  • K8
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Be glad she cheated and you are done with her. She sounds REALLY high maintenance and impossible to please. And yes - she sounds selfish and very self centered. Why did you choose her in the first place? You might want to think on that.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.