Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 7 years ago

Christians: A little help here, regarding the Bible...?

I'm looking for a Kindle version of the Bible so I can reference the Gospel Accounts of Jesus' birth easily while writing my stunningly hilarious Christmas story, "Three Wise Guys." I don't really want to pay for my Kindle Bible, so I'm looking for free versions on Amazon.

A couple of things strike me as odd, however.

First is the fact that Zondervan will sell me a hard copy of an NIV Bible for 35 bucks. I understand that. They're binding the thing, and they're printing it, and they're paying for ink and paper. They've got to make a profit.

What bothers me, though, is that for an ELECTRONIC version, they still want me to pay TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS! Wtf, man! How is an electronic version of the NIV in any universe worth more than, say, ten bucks AT THE MOST?

Then there's the issue of the King James Bible. I found a version of that available for ninety-nine cents, which is reasonable. All well and good. After all, some dude went to the trouble to make an electronic file of the Bible and throw that ****** up there to be downloaded. He deserves whatever pittance he gets. The issue *I'm* having is, when I look to see who put this KJV file up to be downloaded, I see "By GOD the Father and GOD." [GOD in caps --both times--is how it appears on Amazon, and is not my own stylistic choice].

Uh....excuse me? This is the KJV file uploaded to Amazon by GOD HIMSELF? Does He get autopay from Kindle? If He earns $150 a quarter from Kindle for His KJV file, do those funds go into an account that already had a quadrillion, bazillion dollars in it (since He's God, ya know...)? If we could track down the Guy with infinite money in His bank account, the Guy who posted this KJV version of the Bible, THAT could be the verifiable proof for God's existence that we atheists have been looking for all along!

So...yeah. Thanks for explaining these mysteries of the universe to me.

-Occulty

Update:

First respondent: biblegateway.com is great. I use them a lot. But I prefer to write out of wifi range, so I don't get sidetracked into posting silly questions and answers on Yahoo. I'd like a software version of the bible for my computer.But thank you for your recommendation. It was a noble effort!

Update 2:

@cgomfam...I am not making fun of anyone's religion. One could possibly assert that I'm making fun of Zondervan for trying to charge people 25 bucks for a bunch of 0's and 1's that belong to God more than Zondervan. One could also assert that I'm making fun of whoever it was who threw a Kindle file up on Amazon and claimed God did it. But Where do you get the idea that I'm making fun of a religion?

Additionally, I really would enjoy hearing Christians either defend or condemn Zondervan's overpriced electronic version of God's word. And I really would like to know what Christians think about someone putting a KJV file up on the internet and then claiming that "GOD the father and GOD" did it.

So this is a legitimate question, seeking legitimate answers, in keeping with Answers TOS...unlike your answer.

Update 3:

(((Dear Dogma)))....Stating that morality is relative isn't the same as stating that morality doesn't exist, or it's cool to do whatever I feel like doing. You *do* understand that, right? If someone threatens to shoot my kid if I don't go steal a bible, I'll probably go steal a bible. If I'd just like a bible to use as a reference, I'll look around for a free one online rather than steal one.

Additionally, I do in fact own a Bible. It's a NASB. But my daughter has it. She's a Christian and she reads it sometimes. I may or may not ask her to give it back to me.

8 Answers

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  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    There are so darned many Bibles around these days. When I was a kid, only KJV was available. In my teens they came out with a different NT called Good News for Modern Man. It was basically KJV with the language updated to sound more modern. And shortly after that, I lost my faith (I kept misplacing it, then poof! gone for good!).

    I argue against KJV when I have to argue against the Bible. According to most rabid Christians, that is the one that they use, it is supposedly completely inerrant. And the ones with rabies do seem to give us the most problems in this wonderful country of ours. When Christians come at me with quotes from some new version, I pretend not to understand lol... like they are speaking a foreign language. It is the crazed ones that we have to work against, they are the most dangerous.

    Auntie Kookoo

  • Krista
    Lv 5
    7 years ago

    Jehovah's Witnesses have a free electronic version at their website. Modern english too. (Revelation 21:6) . . .To anyone thirsting I will give from the fountain of the water of life free.

    CHRISTMAS NOT CELEBRATED BY TRUE CHRISTIANS

    Luke 2:8-11 shows that shepherds were in the fields at night at the time of Jesus’ birth. The book Daily Life in the Time of Jesus states: “The flocks . . . passed the winter under cover; and from this alone it may be seen that the traditional date for Christmas, in the winter, is unlikely to be right, since the Gospel says that the shepherds were in the fields.”—(New York, 1962), Henri Daniel-Rops, p. 228.

    The Encyclopedia Americana informs us: “The reason for establishing December 25 as Christmas is somewhat obscure, but it is usually held that the day was chosen to correspond to pagan festivals that took place around the time of the winter solstice, when the days begin to lengthen, to celebrate the ‘rebirth of the sun.’ . . . The Roman Saturnalia (a festival dedicated to Saturn, the god of agriculture, and to the renewed power of the sun), also took place at this time, and some Christmas customs are thought to be rooted in this ancient pagan celebration.”—(1977), Vol. 6, p. 666.

    The New Catholic Encyclopedia acknowledges: “The date of Christ’s birth is not known. The Gospels indicate neither the day nor the month . . . According to the hypothesis suggested by H. Usener . . . and accepted by most scholars today, the birth of Christ was assigned the date of the winter solstice (December 25 in the Julian calendar, January 6 in the Egyptian), because on this day, as the sun began its return to northern skies, the pagan devotees of Mithra celebrated the dies natalis Solis Invicti (birthday of the invincible sun). On Dec. 25, 274, Aurelian had proclaimed the sun-god principal patron of the empire and dedicated a temple to him in the Campus Martius. Christmas originated at a time when the cult of the sun was particularly strong at Rome.”—(1967), Vol. III, p. 656. The Encyclopedia Americana states: “During the Saturnalia . . . feasting prevailed, and gifts were exchanged.” (1977, Vol. 24, p. 299) In many instances that represents the spirit of Christmas giving—an exchanging of gifts. The spirit reflected in such gift giving does not bring real happiness, because it violates Christian principles such as those found at Matthew 6:3, 4 Depending on where they live, children are told that gifts are brought by Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, Father Christmas, Père Noël, Knecht Ruprecht, the Magi, the elf Jultomten (or Julenissen), or a witch known as La Befana. (The World Book Encyclopedia, 1984, Vol. 3, p. 414) Of course, none of these stories are actually true. Does the telling of such stories build in children a respect for truth, and does such a practice honor Jesus Christ, who taught that God must be worshiped with truth?—John 4:23, 24.

    Source(s): Jw.org
  • 7 years ago

    You could always steal one from a hotel room... if all morals are relative of course.

    If you think Bible ebooks are expensive, check out theological treatises like Aquinas' Summa Theologica. I just use free online resources.

  • cosmo
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    http://biblegateway.com/ is free.

    Typing "free electronic bible" into google gave several useful hits.

    Kindles can actually handle a number of electronic formats.

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  • 7 years ago

    Proof yet again of the Monkey typing intelligibly but not intelligently.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    AFTER these things God said unto Adam, "Thou didst ask of Me something from the garden, to be comforted therewith, and I have given thee these three tokens as a consolation to thee; that thou trust in Me and in My covenant with thee.

    2 "For I will come and save thee; and kings shall bring me when in the flesh, gold, incense and myrrh; gold as a token of My kingdom; incense as a token of My divinity; and myrrh as a token of My suffering and of My death.

    3 "But, O Adam, put these by thee in the cave; the gold that it may shed light over thee by night; the incense, that thou smell its sweet savour; and the myrrh, to comfort thee in thy sorrow."

    4 When Adam heard these words from God, he worshipped

  • 7 years ago

    Write your own Bible. It'll be just as good.

  • 7 years ago

    Good luck getting anyone to answer your question.

    Source(s): No one is going to help you make fun of their religion.
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