Having trouble dating?

As a 21 year old guy I really don't want to have children. Im sure some people will say well im too young etc but I just don't feel the need to have children. Especially society and how jacked up the world is. I have only been on a few dates with girls and anytime they bring up about the future etc I say of course to have a decent job and to settle down. When they bring up what about kids I say no. Then they give me the cold shoulder. Why does it seem everyone wants to have kids? Im not saying I would be a bad father I would love my kid if I had one but im unsure. So that being said I have not dated in years. So I feel out of place like I don't have friends like at all and I don't date a lot like no texts me or anything. I feel like the oddball is it me or what?

4 Answers

  • 8 years ago

    There are some women that don't want to have children, but I will say that most girls grow up wanting to be moms. It's something I've dreamed about since I was a little girl and I know if I were to date someone who didn't want to children I wouldn't be interested in continuing a relationship with him just because I love children and I know I want my own one day. You're still young so keep your eyes out and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone who also shares the same desires for the future as you. Sometimes you just have to keep trying and eventually the right thing will come along.

  • 8 years ago

    Dating is just to get to know the other person and enjoy quality time not to make plans to have children. You could be giving the wrong signals when you date. You might begin to act too serious from the beginning and of course, this is a door opener for a woman to think about her purpose in life and that is to bear children.

    Some girls will express their desire for a future with a family, you cannot take that away from any woman, but you do not have to take it personally either, you might be the furthest candidate she is thinking of and here you are worrying.

    You have to put balance in your life. Right now you either have friends who are planning on a baby shower for your wife, a girlfriend who already thought of a name for the baby.....what is going on???? You need to get new friends, join a health club, practice a sport. I am sure no one batting is thinking about asking you when you are having a child. You need to change scenery, friends and the way you are looking at dating.

  • 8 years ago

    It's not just you who feels that way, but saying so on a first date is unwise. The fact is that you ARE just 21, and too young to know how you're going to feel about this issue in 10 years when it's time to have kids. If you're asked, just be honest: "I really don't think I'm old enough to have children yet, and I have no idea how I'll feel about it when I am. I haven't ruled it out, it's just too early for me to know."

  • seems like your a smart good guy. Your on the right path.

    If you do want a serious relationship or you find someone that thinks like you

    seek couples counseling NO medicine. If they say take medicine go some where else.

    Recommended to take it slow, take time to get to know the person. Try to keep things clean,

    less baggage. Let years of perfect relationship before marriage

    (if you want you can always be engaged and married after years has passed).

    You can always accept the marriage ring and just marry when you have a few years of

    solid peace and love engagement/relationship. Make sure only settle for your soul

    mate with peace and keep in mind there are many soul mates. Arguing is normal but is

    it good? no, so make sure it is 7 years no arguments. After 7 solid years of perfect

    marriage then a child if desired.

    If things are minor I usually just wouldn't even give it a second thought.

    If it is major I just fix it the best way and that's it. Maybe this will be a good

    method for you guys. Always reinforce it with Love

    Also I see premarital counseling working.Church usually has it for free.

    You can even attend after marriage. Make sure no medicines.

    Make sure you protect your family from outside by working only and your wife is a stay at home mom. NOTE if she makes double your wage, you better stay at home instead and do the cooking cleaning and so on. If you work you can do all the home manly things. If plumber or whatever needs to go to the house make sure you see them the whole time. Make sure you have a hospital or office with only females. Give love to your wife always and hear her out and then you have to make the decision. Also be responsible for the family. Make love to her as much as she wants, make sure she is always satisfied as you too will be satisfied. Be attentive to the kids and your wife. Make sure you save, pay your car with cash, your house with cash and then retirement. Make sure you raise your kids right to be good adults. What every your handling there's no need to tell your family, just make sure you on the ball so you can get it back and score. Make sure you stay fit, try to be handsome even if you think it is silly or waste of time or you think you don't. Take a shower 1 to 2 times a day. Make sure you smell good. Make sure you have good breathe. Make sure you go to the restroom when she is not around for number 2 or 3. Make sure you are organized. Make sure you dress decent at all time (wear the favor t-shirt with holes under your other shirt). Make sure she knows she is appreciated and important to you and the family. If it is her or them it is always her as long as it makes sense. They can always be second, but she is first. MUST make sense. When she is not right on some things or don't remember just help with a quiet mouth. By all this your married life if you choose will be a fulfilled one.

    White Knights never argue, but knights make their women proud and want them. Make sure you have everything ready. I mean like saving for a 6 month rainy day and then increase that as much as you can as time goes on. Buy a house cash small to start and then bigger when you decide and ready to have a child so the child can stay in one community for their whole school life and a place to come home always during Holidays and for you to plant your plants and watch them grow and to grow old in, make sure to pay cash or go smaller if needed or just wait on the child/bigger home, peace is most important. Your wife should always have access to cash and a good amount. If you can it is better you balance the books. Pay that car cash, used or new. Pay the vacation cash and have your retirement ready, remember to diversified in many ways not just many stocks but many ways. NOW if you want to use some credit cards because of perks then make sure to place that cash aside in the bank account so when the statement comes cash is already waiting ;)

    On another note you seem to be a very nice person, so I like to add that what ever person you want a serious relationship with, take your time (years) and really really really see if this is the person you will spend your whole life with. If you can even better never get married and just enjoy your life with nothing serious, make sure the other party knows your intentions.

    Source(s): I also like to add though, in marriage it is a different kinda love, a very valuable kinda love. Always do whats best for everyone like what you did when you asked this question, Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you. Love and the Good Life will come Also I see premarital counseling working.Church usually has it for free. Make sure no medicine P.S. Email me if you have another further statements glhww@yahoo.com P.P.S. More & daily words of encouragements TWITTER my account is = @glhww P.P.P.S. Majority of my answers are for the majority, there are many variables to consider always P.P.P.P.S. Click on the Yahoo Answers Ads to support this very cool program
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