Could it be unhealthy that my boyfriend spoils our daughter so much?

I thought as being a teen dad, that he wouldnt be as big of a softie to our little girl as he is. She is a daddy's girl ALL THE WAY. We are 17 and 19 now, but we had her when I was 15 and he was 17. Ever since she was born he always holds her, buys her everything, (he works for a landscaping company so he has a decent amount of money) and flat out just spoils her! It got to the point where she wouldnt let anyone else hold her when she was around 9 months- to a year old. When I would try to do something with her or hold her she'd scream and it made me feel like a bad mom, but when he holds her she's all giggly and happy. I went in the bathroom and cried after I realized that she didnt want me. I thought she hated me. I tried talking to him but he said I'm being over dramatic. I feel rejected by my own child and it kills me. Im not complaining because he could've been one of those teen dads that went out to party all the time or something and left me alone with her, but he isn't like that at all. He's extremely helpful and he has been the day she was born but im afraid if he continues spoiling her so much she's gonna keep expecting it from him as she gets older and she's not gonna want anything to do with me. The other day he went to work and she was screaming, "I want daddy" at the top of her lungs. She's NEVER done that before and her screaming went on for a good half hour until I called him and let her talk to him on the phone. He told her if she was good for me when he got home he would bring her a surprise, which was just a little teddy bear, but now I hope she doesnt act up just so he'll get her something.. I understand she is 2, she wont be a perfect child but she's so bad for me and so good when he's around. I just don't get it. Opinions on what to do? My mom suggested taking her to to the park or something one on one with just me and her and see if she doesn't act up, but like I said, she's only trouble when he's not around.. Please help me give me advice on what to do?? Can this be unhealthy for our daughter??

3 Answers

  • Widdle
    Lv 4
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Don't feel bad! In fact, feel lucky that your boyfriend has such a great relationship with his daughter! It won't be this way forever. Once she starts getting a little bit older, she'll want to do things with you, too. Almost all babies have a favorite parent. It is NOT because your daughter "doesn't want you."

    Take her out for some fun "mommy and me" time. Do something special with her. Do activities that are engaging for both of you. Praise her and tell her you love her.

    Try not to bribe her for good behavior, though... that could end up backfiring when she's older. ;)

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Try all 3 of you playing together get dad to show a bit more interest in you and not the child, eg. Have a tea party and instead of him pouring her tea first pour yours, and him ask her "can you pass mummy a bit of cake" etc your partner shouldn't reward her all the time she does something good or as she gets older she'll expect something every time she's good. Maybe just you and her go to park or farm for the day without dad around. She'll soon warm to you, I think this may be down to him when she was a baby getting her to sleep picking her up when she cried? Sorry if this is no help.

    Source(s): Teen mum myself
  • Erin
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    The only thing unhealthy is your reaction to it. Calling her dad to talk to her during a tantrum just reinforced her behavior. Children that age usually have a favorite parent. It just so happens that he is the favorite parent. Ignore the temper tantrums and screaming, because its all normal. When she acts up, take away her toys and put her in time out. Once she has called down you can play with her and gt her things if you wish. I don't really think he is "spoiling" her. The constant buying of gifts is not good. You should get him to cut back on that. But spending time with a child is not "spoiling" her. And you don't need to cry or be upset. Next year you might be her favorite and she'll want nothing to do with him.

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