Why wont my husband be intimated with me?!?

My husband and i have been together for 12 years now and now were at the point where we hardly intimate.. we go like a month without any intimacy and i ask him why and he says he tired. i know hes not cheating on me but still i ask myself why it is?

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  • .
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    We can't know why...

    Could be a medical issue...

    Could be boredom with sex...

    Could be cheating (it can be pretty tough to keep track of someone's behavior 24 hrs/day)...

    You didn't mention his age or health, and either of those can be a factor in low libido...as can medications, stress, etc...a good start would be for him to get a checkup with his doctor AND for you two do discuss ways to make changes in his life so he's not "tired" all the time...are there things you could help him with, to take some of the load off him (for example)???

  • 8 years ago

    He probably is tired! Has the relationship only changed dramatically or overtime? Most marriages do not stay in the honeymoon phase forever. Perhaps life has become a bit of a treadmill and you are in a rut. You could try looking at what you can change to revive some excitement - perhaps set aside some time to go out together or you can change something about yourself not just physical but your routines and interests which in turn make you more interesting.

    Is there any possibility her is depressed? If so maybe a trip to the GP for advice.

    It is most likely not about you but you too have the right to decide what you want and need to make yourself happy. If you can accept this phase it may pass. If it doesn't pass and you don't accept it then you need to make a decision.

    Apart from sex are you still intimate in other ways and still happy together - if so that goes a long way in these situations. Feeling s of love and attraction have a habit of going through highs and lows in any long term relationship. If you get through some of the lows then it makes the marriage stronger.

    Whatever you do don't make him feel pressured and it only builds resentment and causes further problems, but that doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs calmly and in a non threatening setting.

  • 8 years ago

    Cause he is tired, worried, upset at something that has nothing to do with you.

    Some guys are not trained seals that get intimate at the drop of nightgown.

    Communications talking about why he doesn't seem to want to have relations might be a start but many couples do not have the time or energy to get into the making babies mood.

    If you have children focus on them, or get into new hobby or volunteer work. I know lots of couples that love each other a lot , they have their kids, a home and both work. Love isn't always sex it has a lot to do with planning things together, trusting one another and companionship.

  • 8 years ago

    It sounds like he may be a little bored, turn up the heat & get kinky but let him in on it a little so he doesn't think you out screwing around pick up a porno and watch it with him Or clear a landing strip for him and tell him you want it hard, I bet he comes around if you add some spice to it.

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  • 8 years ago

    When you were having sex how was your sex life? Was it interesting? There isn't an actual point in marriage when you stop having sex. Its where someone is no longer interested and the other stops trying. Talk to him ask him what he would like in the bedroom to increase frequency.

  • kpopp
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    Sometimes it's nice to be intimate in the morning!

  • Unless he's suffering from impotency he has no excuse to deny you sex - especially up to a month. That's ridiculous. Using the excuse that he's tired is b.s. Don't fall for it. Dump this looser and move on. No one should be denied their needs - sexual needs included.

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