Why is he flipping out after being served for divorce if he is just getting what he asked for?

Question

My husband had been having an ongoing affair for years. During the past year, we tried to reconcile and it seemed to be working until I laid down the law and said he had to end the affair and come home. He Said he has no love for me,not even affection, and asked me to cooperate with a no fault divorce. I turned around and filed for adultery to protect my interests since I am the higher income partner and I did not want the court to make me pay him alimony when he is in fact at fault for the break down of the marriage. I submitted as proof e-mails he had sent me for safe keeping about unrelated things but in which people mentioned his infidelity and he is flipping out, sending me multiple e-mails in the middle of the night when he should be sleeping, telling me what he will do if I don't go through with the divorce. Saying he wants to be friends and offering me money for my son from a previous marriage. Sometimes all of the above in the same e-mail. Why is he flipping out after being served if he is just getting what he asked for?

Answer 1

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Remember the old saying; "Be careful what you wish for".... well, he didn't get that memo! lol

Apparently he didn't realize the details involved in asking for a divorce under your circumstances, and imagined it would be a little more "fair to him", and not threaten him. Under the circumstances and what he said before you acted, your doing the right thing....stay on course and do not waiver. He may have said somethings in anger and now realizes they are not true, but your heart must guide you now. Does he still have the other woman? I think you have done your share already in all this, and if after the divorce he feels the same, then you may consider him again. Until then let him weep and move on.

Answer 2

Oh this answer is so simple. He really didn't get what he wanted. What he wanted was a no fault divorce that just let him walk away with an ecen asset split. What you gave him was papers for a divorce where the judge will look at him as the cause and rule accordingly.

Or the other answer is that the other woman broke it off and he is using you as the fall back position.

Either way keep going a take it all girl.

Answer 3

You hurt his poor little ego by filing for the divorce and pointing out the affair. He doesn't want to accept responsibility that he was at fault for the dissolution of the marriage.

He shouldn't be in contact with you since he was served the papers, so make sure to keep all emails from him or his fling, and document all text messages.

Answer 4

what he asked for is a no fault divorce so he could collect alimony from you - how is that getting what he asked for?

the only thing you can do at this point is ignore him -you have realized the marriage is over - he's not ready to let go of your money yet . . .

Answer 5

Who cares why he is flipping out - you do what you need to for you and your child. He decided to end the marriage and you are granting him his wish.

Of course he is most likely upset because the money won't be as plentiful, but who really knows.

Answer 6

It's normal actually. He was not used to you putting your foot down ever so now that the tables have turn, his panties are in a wad.

Don't respond to his midnight/early morning texts. Only communicate w/ him re: legal issue sand parenting issues if you have kids. That's it. You owe him nothing more.

Answer 7

He realizes he's going to be out cash.