I want a kid & I'm 15 ?
Obviously Im not going to get pregnant today or tomorrow . I've wanted a kid for about 3 years now . I'm trying to hold off for as long as I can to give him/her a better life . But I don't know how much longer I can wait !! My birthday is in 2 months . Then a month after that I have to get surgery . I have to get rods in my back because I have scoliosis . After that I want to get 2 jobs . I do ecot which is and online school for those of you that don't know . I want to save up for at least a year to have extra money . Plus that gives me time to get my license . I'm going to share a car with my mom . So I wanna get pregnant then . I would be 16 about to be 17 . I understand that it is VERY hard and very expensive to raise a baby ! I took care of my newborn cousin until she was a year old, day and night . I want a child, a daughter or son . I want to be responsible for their life, I want to give them the best life ever . No not money wise but full of love and happy memories . Also I do plan on graduating high school online . Then doing online college until I have a bachelors degree . Then putting him/ her into daycare so I can go to pre med school . After that I will set up my classes for the same time my child is in school and hopefully live off of financial aid with a roommate but someone who's close to me like my sister . Yes we have talked about this . Anyways I'm going to college to be an anesthesiologist so once I finish we will be set for life . Even tho I can't shake this feeling what should I do ?! Honest opinions and answers please . Thanks for your time everyone .
- Anonymous8 years agoFavorite Answer
Seriously? Let's start superficial.
I was diagnosed with scoliosis at 11, but I never needed the rods. That said, pregnancy caused me to trap a nerve and it was agony and misery, plus severe morning sickness meant I couldn't work for several months. So, there are some health considerations there. What happens to you if you can't work for three months? If it causes back issues? Back issues= trouble with employment.
I had my daughter young, a week before I turned 21. Talking to other friends who were younger mothers, we all agreed on one thing: there is a HUGE difference between being in high school and having a baby, and having finished high school then having a baby. Having a baby right before my 21st meant I had four years of full time employment history and training. Now, I can easily get a job in retail, or as a waitress, or in a kitchen, or behind a bar, because I have the experience and referrals. (Since my daughter was born I've picked up more work experience- so now I can add office work and medical receptionist to the mix.) I've also traveled- I've traveled to Malaysia, around Australia, China and Singapore. Don't under estimate the power of travel.
A lot of your friends will fall away. This is something that most young mother's seem to have experienced- they're at a totally different place to other people their age, they don't have anything in common, it's hard to make friends.
I'm studying/ studied(? more on that later) at university- nursing, in fact. Ironically, I was considering med, and I COULD have gotten into a very good university- I had the scores, I had some relevant experience.... But there was no way I could have moved away to any of these very good universities, and put in the hours required, while still being an involved parent. Some parents do. But I think you'll come to realise that for every success story you hear, there are thousands of non-success stories... (well, maybe they found a different kind of success.)
In nursing I have to go on placements. I don't get a whole lot of say where I go, and I could end up an hour or two away from home. We're a one car household, and my partner definitely needs his car to get to work (on a mine site.) There isn't childcare around that will care for her for 12 hours, and where will we find the money anyway to find a long term baby sitter? It's also tricky to find work, because they want someone who is reliable... Which sucks, because you have to work around childcare's operating hours. HAH good luck only ever getting classes that are on when your kid is in school! Our uni can technically schedule lectures anywhere between 8am and 9pm- I had one on last year that ran from 7pm-9pm. It was the only time possible, and it sucked for all of us.
What if your kid gets sick? Kids who go to childcare get sick a fair bit (everyone knows this) and they're likely to pass it onto you. So... when your kid is sick, they can't go childcare. So you can't go classes. If your kid is sick, they're also likely to be up all night, and you're going to have to be up all night too, which is really awesome when you have boring lectures on the next day and tutorials you have to do prep work for. Yeah great. And guess what? You're family will probably support you all they can.... but they have their own lives to live too. They'll want to go on holidays, or they'll be busy with their own stuff, and sometimes, they can't help you. And you know what? This is your kid, so is it fair on your sister etc to make sacrifices in their own life because you wanted to have a kid at 15?Source(s): Life.
- PangolinLv 78 years ago
I had a baby at 21, after I got my bachelor's degree, and right before I started med school. It was not great timing. Unless you are extremely academically gifted, you don't stand a chance of getting into, much less succeeding at, medical school as a single parent.
Based on your writing sample above, you're probably not at the top of your (online?) class. Your plans are unrealistic, and if you have a child as a teen, the chance of you even finishing college is somewhere between slim and none. What you will do, is set yourself up for a life as a welfare queen, and we already have enough of those.
Finish your education first, get into a stable relationship, and THEN consider motherhood. You have NO IDEA what med school entails. It's 24/7/365 for 4 years. Residency is worse. Unless you have a lot of support, there is no way you can make it happen.
As for being "set for life" - you do realize that you will not have a job until you're 30, and that you will work 60 or more hours per week until you retire? How are you going to pay for college and med school? The investment required is between $150,000-$400,000, depending on where you go. Better start saving!Source(s): I'm an anesthesiologist.
- 8 years ago
I am 16 and I'm pretty sure I am pregnant.
Advice, wait. I wish I had of waited at least an extra year. You still have school and everything.
You want a baby when you are young and ten when you have a baby you didn't realize how expensive it is and how much work and sleepless nights you have.
- ?Lv 78 years ago
You get your education and settled in your career before you bring a child into the world.
You DON"T understand how hard and expensive it is to have and raise a child. You think you do - but you don't. Sure, maybe you took care of a baby - but I'll bet you didn't pay for anything.
Your plan sounds great - but only in your head and in theory.
You have no idea how difficult it would be to do school - even online with a baby around. What if the baby is one of those unlucky babies who have an illness and you have to spend a great deal of time at doctors or caring for him/her. Healthy babies take a great deal of time and effort - much less an unhealthy one.
Putting in day care while you go to school? Do you understand how expensive day care is? You may not get to set up classes for the same time child is pre-occupied in day care or school. You take classes when they are scheduled - by the school. Not when you want to. And these classes are pretty intensive. One would never be able to study as hard as one should with a baby, toddler or a pre-schooler running around - if you don't want to be yelling for quiet all the time. And that's no way for a baby, toddler or pre-schooler to live. They need to run, yell, play, be taken to the park and such. Not to mention being fed, clothed, laundry done. When would you have time for that?
Now let's get to the financials. How do you expect to pay for pre-natal and birth costs? How do you expect to - on your plan - get child to daycare. One would probably need a car - with insurance, gas, oil changes. How do you expect to pay for all a baby needs the first year? There will be no living off financial aid - paying for an apartment, utilities, school expense, books, groceries, and everything one needs. Many students barely make it on financial aid living in a dorm - or living at home - rent free, grocery buying free and not having to pay to keep lights on - without needing a part time job as well. Financial aid covers just school costs - you will not get enough to rent an apartment, pay for day care, keep the electricity on and buy groceries as well. Plus you will have the past due medical bills just from having the baby in the first place. You can save up for a year to have extra money which will be gone in 3 weeks. You say you want to get 2 jobs - however, wanting and getting are two very different things. You won't get jobs making more than minimum wage at your age. You will never be able to work two jobs, go to school to be what you want to be - and raise a child. There isn't enough time in the day for all that. And child would not be getting the time and effort child needs as you will be too tired and into the other things to give it. And that is not giving the "best life ever"
You said you wanted honest opinions and answers - so please don't take all of this as rude.
My honest opinion is that you are very young. My honest opinion is that your plan will not work. I get the "yes, we've talked about it" thing. But you have only talked about it with optimism and going ahead with what you want to do. I'll bet you haven't "talked" with pencil and paper - figuring the finances with a clear idea of what things costs. A clear idea of just what kind of financial aid you would qualify for. Key word - qualify. Financial aid is not an absolute given that everyone will get it. And a clear idea of how many hours are in a day to accomplish what you want to do. Classes, studying and sleeping will take up most of the hours. It is going to be difficult enough without tossing a child in the mix.
And I see nothing here considering the father of this child. Would you just be looking for a sperm donor - in that the father is going to have nothing to do with the child? In that you just want to get pregnant by some random guy - that will either possibly ruin his life because he didn't want a child? Or shut him out of his child's life. Best keep in mind the questions a child has growing up like "where's my daddy"? "Doesn't my daddy love me". How are you going to deal with that? No child is going to want to hear "I was 17 and wanted a baby so I don't really know who or where your daddy is".
So if you want to be responsible - for yourself and a child and want to give a child the best life ever - then get your life together first. Get your education, get your career life settled. If you have the energy - then double up on classes and get done sooner.
Then have a child when you have the time, energy, finances and maturity to handle it. And with someone who wants a child as well and can be a daddy.
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- 8 years ago
It's probably just a phase. Don't worry.
- 8 years ago
if you have the money and the will to do it then do itSource(s): duhh
- Anonymous8 years ago
don't do itSource(s): you're gonna do what you want anyways so no point in answering this question