Listen, it will die if you give it tap water. You need to give it distilled water, reverse osmosis water, or rainwater. Beware as accumulated rainwater will become breeding grounds for mosquitoes. Now, as for soil, if you use fertilizer, it WILL kill the plant. Carnivorous plants such as the venus flytrap acquire their vital minerals via their prey, and too much minerals on the roots will result in death. Also, I would watch where you place the plant in the day, because of phototrophism. Try and place it where the sun will be on it all day, and place something in between the traps. As for soil, perlite and pete moss work best. Try not to get the Miracle Grow brand of Pete Moss, as this will have fertilizer in it which results in death. I am currently caring for a venus flytrap, and I have had MANY of your problems. Do not feed it, put it outside, LEAVE IT OUTSIDE. When it gets darker out, perhaps turn your porch light on to attract insects. Place the plant near the light, and it's just like fishing. Except the fish are moths. If you insist on feeding your flytrap by hand, you should feed it high protein insects, and avoid ants or wasps as they can actually drill through the trap. Crickets have about a medium protein count. If the prey is too big for the trap, it will cause it to rot off. When they do turn black, wait till the whole trap or the stalk turns black, then trim it off so it doesn't effect the rest of the plant. It will die down in the winter or fall months, as this is its dormancy period, or state of inactiveness. You should not be concerned about this, and it will grow back again when spring comes. Try to keep the plant moist, but not waterlogged. A great method is panning, where you place the plant in a bowl or pan, and fill the bottom with water. If the pot has holes in the bottom, the soil will soak the water up so the plant's roots can retrieve it. To quote Flytrapcare.com, which I recommend you check out, "Insects with higher nitrogen content are theoretically the "best" to manually feed an indoor flytrap. According to this paper, predaceous (predatory/carnivorous) insects have an average of 15% more nitrogen content than herbivorous insects. Spiders, predatory beetles (e.g. ladybugs), wasps, and other carnivorous flying insects have the highest nitrogen values of all insects, while insects like moths and butterflies have the lowest nitrogen value. The paper also suggested that although no data exists, there is reason to believe that collembola (springtails) may also have high nitrogen content. Since they are readily available in pet stores, I'll also note that insects such as crickets have a moderate nitrogen content as well. While not among the highest in nitrogen content, they fall well above that of moths and butterflies." Good luck, sorry for the long answer but it is accurate.