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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 8 years ago

Friend of mine asking for advice?


Marriage ended suddenly. Husband was coming home drunk and late and there had been problems for the entire 6 months they were married, even though they had been togeather for a year and a half before that.

She has nothing to gain by divorce, but after husband came home from work one night saying he doesnt love her anymore, she left to live with her mom until she could get a job again and her own place.

Her mom insists she help with work and chores around the house, which is fair.. So for a while everything seems ok. Until she starts wanting to hang out with friends once a week. Her mom decides that she should not be leaving the house ever unless it is the gym or the Dr. and gives her an 8:00 curfew even though she is in her late twenties.

But she decides to see her frirnds anyway. Still trying to make sure chores are done, thinking that her mom would re concider. But no. Her mom starts calling her soon to be ex husband and tells him when dhe leaves, how long she is gone, and that she is "cheating."

Being as divorce is eminant, i would think that he would not care where she went. But instead decides to take a controling part in her life as well, leaving hateful messages on her phone, and even going do far as to take her car while she is gone.

My first thought in all this was that she should just leave her mom and find some place else. But she cant. She has two horses and a 5 year old as well. Horses were being borded, but her mom insisted on bringing them to her house, and now since my friend has no place, or the means to move them, her mom is using them as leverage to force her to stay home.

She really has been trying hard, but unemployment in this state is very high compared to others, and so far no luck. She is concidering leaving the state. She wants to take the horses with her if she can, but its not looking good.

Just want to know what kind of advice i can give her on what to do. Dont want to see my friend go... =(

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    her 5 yr old has to be her priority.

    Suspect her Mom is aware that the soon to be Ex could use the information when he files the petition, and your friend may find it difficult to prove she is NOT doing what he says she is.

    Her Mom must have a motive for relaying her daughters movements to the ex, so she needs to establish why.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    That's such a tough situation....but forget the horses, she has a child to take care of. Call a woman's shelter and go there ASAP.

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