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Girl Friend of many years lies about her job?

I've been with someone for a long time and I just found out she never had a job. She lied to me the whole time, and claimed she was embarrassed about having to take care of her mother which she lived with and thought I would leave her. Does that sound legit? I mean there was a short period of time where we were both out of a job and here I am staying at my home thinking she is off working and she is home too? There would be days when I had a job and currently do and I would have a day off and say what about you? and the answer was no. She really played it up. I caught her because I called her "job" to ask for her and they never heard of her. It was crazy. I guess I've just been busy working all these years, and I don't make enough to support the both of us yet, and maybe that is why she was lying? She doesn't act like she is interested in anyone else, and has always been a good girlfriend. I'm just royally confused if her reasons are valid, or if she is lying ontop of a lie. My gut told me she was lying about work, but my gut is 50/50 on reasons why. I can't determine what is what. I need an outside perspective.

2 Answers

  • 8 years ago

    Taking care of a parent who can't really care for themselves is a job in and of itself, and a very important one. Many people would not step up to the plate to do so. That being said, many people would frown on the fact that she doesn't have a "real" job that pays, so I can see her trepidation in wanting to admit to you that she stays with her mom and takes care of her daily. It's been years, and I'm sure at some point, it probably got so far into what began as a white lie, that she got too embarrassed to tell you the truth AND that she had been lying about the "job"....If you love her and accept her for who she is, and are sure that she's not lying about anything else, then I would try to find it in my heart to forgive her if I were you. She sounds like a great girlfriend besides all that, and she IS doing an admirable thing by taking care of her mom, if that's the case. Maybe there is some way that she can find a nurse to come and care for her mom, medicaid can help pay for that. Then she could go out and find a job that will pay her, and she can help make enough money for both of you. Talk about the options that she and you guys together have, and go from there. See what works for you guys. There are always options. Yes, she lied, but in this case, I would try to be understanding of her situation and what it meant to her for you to think that she had a real job this whole time. She was probably terrified to tell you the truth. Some people are funny about money, and she may have thought that you would think she was a lesser person for not having a paying job. Just talk to her calmly and KINDLY about it, and see what happens. You sound like a very reasonable and understanding person, so use your strengths to find a solution here. It sounds like you really care about her, so I wouldn't be surprised if you came to a good solution for everyone quickly. Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    There is more to that just play it cool

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