I was the side girl, but now I'm the gf?
Okay so here's the super long story short.
We became friends about two years ago, I had a bf and he had a gf.
We hung out every once and a while and pretty much would always talk on the phone at night.
After about a year me and my bf broke up in January 2012, keep in mind he still has a gf.
One drunken night in March I called him over to a friends house, where we hooked up. Not sex or anything, just kissing.
This continued on for awhile, we had sex a couple months later.
He went off to EDC saying how he has to make a choice between me and his gf.
When he came back, he called me one morning and said it wasn't me.
I was broken but I was still dumb enough to hang out with him after.
We still hooked up and had sex after he "chose his gf"
They broke up finally in August.
He told me I was the only girl he was talking to.
He later tells me he hooked up with some girl in a bar.
We started going out in October.
Now I've caught him in a few lies about past girls, I once met a girl he had a one night stand with and asked if that was her (just to see if he would lie to me) and he responded with "oh no, we just made out."
Lately, I've been getting annoyed with him, I hate the fact that I can't trust him but I can't blame anyone for that. He has destroyed me once, and I feel like he will do it again. I constantly have this gut feeling like he's lying to me.
I just need some advice, what do I do? I love this man but what now? I want to be happy. He's almost done with college and im barely starting it.
- Rebecca*Lv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
If he cheated on his gf with you, as you've learned, he can easily cheat on you when you become "the gf".
This guy sounds like a total man-wh*re. Don't ever sink to his level again. Never ever get with a guy with a girlfriend. It's tacky, hurtful, and dishonest. Also, you should want more for yourself than to be with a guy who doesn't respect you and doesn't look at you as the only woman in his life. This is not healthy.
I think you should break up with him. This is not a good relationship -- he sounds like a breeding ground for STD's, and a sex addict who LIES to you, and can't commit. How have you not left him already? He sounds like a total d*ck. Find a nice guy who won't sleep around when he's dating you, and be honest and loyal to him. You say you love him, but really he's no good for you -- he'll just cheat on you again and again and hurt you. He could break up with you for some other side girl, or "re-gift" you an STD.
Seriously. Break it off.
Good luck and hope this helps.
- ?Lv 48 years ago
Ummm ok. First off what made you think he was gonna be faithful to you if he was creeping with you behind his girlfriends back. If a guy leaves someone for another girl hes gonna do the same thing again. He will never be faithf to you so let it go and dont ever mess with goods that are already bought. If he had a gf then you shouldnt have even entertained hom coming on to you. You werent the first girl he did this to and he wont be the last. Now if you wanna be his doormat then thats fine too. Do what makes you happy.
- 8 years ago
A side chick should never cross into main chick status, you weren't the main girl for a reason. And I know theirs a very lyrically deep song by Trinidad James about how his side chick is his main chick cause his main hoe ain't feeling him no more, but Trinidad James is a complete dumbass and anything he says in a song is bullshit. I'm sorry but sadly you are just the rebound chick and side chick, he probably doesn't love you, he didn't choose you in the first place. And if you catch him in lies, why are you still ******* with him. You are young as **** and don't need to waste your time in this pointless relationship. This is the time to have fun and discover yourself, not find your future husband. You still need to go through your hoe phase, every good girl does. Don't be ashamed of sleeping around as long as you do it safely. Then later in life you will never had the urge to cheat because you have done it all. And if the dude is 6'2'' and white dump his *** the very second you are reading this because most dudes over 6'2'' and white are complete douchebags and a waste of your time.
- 8 years ago
I think you should just follow your gut feeling about how he's always lying to you. I was in a similar situation before with my ex, and he ended up dumping me before I could him. If you really think that he's lying/cheating or anything, it may be best to break up. And at least, if you break up with him, you'll have your dignity, even with a broken heart. If he breaks up with you, it probably will hurt more.
Think what's best for you. Obviously, you guys are still young. It seems being in a serious relationship isn't a priority for him as of right now. I mean, he cheated on his ex with you and then even "picked his girlfriend" but still hooked up with you. What makes you think he wouldn't be able to do that to you? If you think he would, then it's probably best to break up. But it's your call and really only you have the answer.
- TTPWLv 48 years ago
1. If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.
2. Strong gut feelings are usually quite accurate.
You have three options.
1. Stay with him and hope he will change.
2. Stay with him and completely accept his faults because you love him and these behaviors--cheating and dishonesty--are behaviors you are willing to accept for yourself (hey, maybe you're into polygamy, I don't know!)
3. Break up with him. Cut contact. Let yourself grieve, begin the healing process, and eventually return to your usual state of happiness and find someone who will treat you better.