Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 7 years ago

my boyfriend wants to do rough bdsm type sex?!?! HELP?!?!?!?

So like two days ago when I went to my boyfriend house to hang out (obviously).. He and I talked about our future while he was getting ready and then I see the book 50 shades of grey and I was like "LOL YOU READ THIS ??!?!?! " jokingly and he said "no its my moms she left it on the table and my little sister was trying to read it, and I took it from her" I told him that its all sexual and about bondage and stuff, .. (my friend told me that). & He said dayum thats interesting. Okay so yesterday he texts me "I want to do some stuff to you.. things that will make your toes curl" and I replied "tickling me" ( i know what he meant but I tried avoiding the conversation) and then he said all this stuff about me and him and I thought it was pretty sick , it was literally that bdsm stuff. We are old enough to do what we want.. I'm 21 he's 24. so today we were having... s.e.x... and he was being really rough and like I told him to calm down like 5 times but he kept being rough and he said while we were having sex... "scream for me" and i didn't cause .. idk i just didn't and he went in the wrong hole :| and i screamed like no joke it wasn't even like that :| and then he said lets try back there and i said no and got up and went to the bathroom, and he left and I'm starting to think this rough sex stuff is going to his head and I'm not really comfortable like that, I like more of the romance vibe.. what do i do.?!?!?!

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  • 7 years ago
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    Wow, So that is what that book is all about, glad I didn't buy or read it.

    But I've read hundreds of murder mysteries as I an sure, millions of others have, but never wanted to murder anyone.

    Not there are some sex acts, that consenting adults may read about and wish to try, however, the key work is 'consenting adults' and you didn't consent.

    It seems he's the type of guy, that is into this BDSM sex, and if he had a partner who felt the same, that's fine. To each his own.

    But this isn't for everybody, and certainly not for you. The fact he went right at it, being rough, instead of trying some mild stuff to see if you liked it or not. Then stop when you tell him, you don't like it.

    You need to lay down your law. this is not for you, and if that's what he's after, he should find a willing partner.

    This certainly isn't a romantic sort of love making, and even though it's for some people, I'm sure it's not a big percentage of them.

    If he says, this is what he wants, then, sadly, you need to give him his walking papers and find some nice decent romantic guy, who shares your feelings, and romance.

    I think he's shown his true colors, and they aren't pretty ones.

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  • I'll take him. ;)

    Lol, but in all seriousness, try to work out a pattern with him. You want to enjoy sex, but he wants to enjoy it too. Make it so that sometimes its rough and kinky and other time its slow and romantic.

    *edit*

    I also forgot to add, if he is doing stuff that makes you feel unsafe you should tell him. Ultimately, your safety comes first and if he loves you he should understand that

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Talk to him about it. Tell him your not ready for that and that it's uncomfortable for you. Trust me... Me and my boyfriend had that talk for 4 hours. He knows I don't like it so he don't do it, he is very watchy now when it comes to being around the wrong hole.

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  • 7 years ago

    compromise

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  • 7 years ago

    We can trade...?

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