Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 years ago

Why do guys friend-zone me? Am I unlucky or doing something wrong? Men/women help.?

Where do you find a guy that is interested in a long term relationship, and not just a one-night-stand? Do they even exist? I mean: have we run out of nice guys?

So I’m a 21-year-old University student who doesn’t know how to approach guys as I’ve never had a boyfriend. For the last 2 years I’ve been feeling very lonely and unwanted, it’s as if a biological clock is saying; “Hey, you! Yes, you. Shouldn’t you be in a relationship by now? Or at least have kissed someone?” (To clarify: not interested in having a family, only a partner, or dating a bit).

I’m rather large (as in tall and wide, not fat), have a facial bone structure similar to Emily Deschanel (plays Temperance “Bones” Brennan in Bones) and is broad-shouldered (doorways are my archenemies, and I’m pretty sure that they are moving when I’m in a hurry). I joke a lot, and am strong, but I can’t see any muscles on myself. I think that I’m either a “7” or an “8”. (1-10 scale)

I don’t smoke and don’t like alcohol much so I never get wasted when I drink, and I’m kind of nice. I treat people the same way they treat me, or better if I like them. I smile and laugh a lot, even though I’m not doing anything special. I’ve never been angry (not the last eight years at least) and I’m not really driven by emotions, more by logic (I don’t see the point of screaming or throwing things because of anger).

I’m afraid that I’m coming off as too strong, independent or perhaps “manly”, so I’m “scarring” guys away. I’ve tried getting guys to realise that I like them by asking them to go see a movie with me, eat some lunch, invite them over for coffee, go go-carting, or playing music with me (a guy that liked playing guitar), but I always get the same response: No, I can’t. I’m busy. Some other time. And then they never invite me over and say the same thing the next time I ask them. (Note that I’m not even going after “10s”. I’ve tried this with anyone that I’ve considered somewhat nice) And then my curse strikes! Dun-dun-duuun (I don’t even believe in curses, but if someone comes along and needs to be carried up a mountain I’ll be the first to offer my help *movie reference that others rarely understand*)

Yes, I’m cursed. Every guy that I’ve ever met that was single has gotten a hot girlfriend or started dating someone one to two weeks after I’ve begun flirting with them. It just makes me laugh, a forced ‘Fu*k this sh*t, I’ll be a tree’-laugh.

So how do I find a guy that is interested in a relationship? Where’s the rock under which they are hiding? And what kind of things are most important for you guys? Breasts? Waist? Personality? (Be honest, I love honesty.)

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to"

Side note: I’ve had two, TWO, female friends try to get me in bed even though they knew that I’m not gay. They weren’t particularly discrete about it either. One started biting and sucking on my neck when we were watching a movie and I had to tell her to stop. The other sent letters explaining her feelings and what she wanted to do to me in French (I don’t even speak French...) so I had to translate them (Actually, I liked those letters and the challenge of understanding them). And a third that was cuddly with me always argued with one of the other two and told me that I ‘smelled like warmth and safety’ (what does that even mean? I'm just guessing that she liked me...) So if women see me as a partner-option... Does that mean that guys see me as a man? I’m even considering just ignoring the entire partner-thing and becoming an old lady that has a dog and bakes a lot.



I just checked and I am classified as an Amazon Woman...

Wouldn’t it be weird if I show up at a car show without knowing anything about cars? (Not that I can’t appreciate their beauty, especially the really old ones)

I define a ‘nice guy’ as a person that isn’t violent, and can talk logically about a problem without having a fit of rage (that honestly scares me whenever I see it). That doesn’t sleep around when dating and treats others well (Kind and caring). Which is the definition of most guys, but all the nice guys that I’ve met lately are in relationships.

Anthony J Wines:

Thanks, I’ll try that


Hahaha, sorry. I’ve already translated the letters

3 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ok I stopped reading halfway, too much about you there.

    It sounds like you are some sort of amazon woman and that is a turn off for most guys, as it probably means you are bigger than most of us. You can't rate yourself, it doesn't work that way, unless you have a huge ego you can't be sexually attracted to yourself. So I'm not calling you ugly but you have to be honest with yourself here.

    With that out of the way it sounds like you need to try new places to meet guys. Most guys don't have a problem with girls approaching them, even if they are not super hot. It makes me feel a like bad *** player when a chick walks up to me, you just have to be able to read if I am no longer interested and you might want to back off.

    As to your statement about "nice guys" what do you define as that? I would consider myself a nice person and most my friends are nice enough as well. I work on cars and do car things, so you'd have a tough time finding me if I wasn't out with friends, which usually consists of car shows. You could probably find a lot of guys at car shows actually, car guys are kind of a lonely bunch. So all I can say is keep looking and avoid people with backwards hats and baggy gym shorts.

    Finally what do I like? I like a girl that has a nice figure and takes care of herself, my perfect "10" would be Jessica Alba in Sin City, all of her features strike a great balance. That is purely physically of course, in that movie she has all sorts of emotional problems.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    May be you are a little to forward and strong for guys to handle, try take a step back.

    Watch the guys and be subtle in your flirting see what happens but let them make the first move, you will see who is interested in you .

    hope this helps

  • ?
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Tell me what the b*tch wrote you (i'm french, i'll traduce the letters).

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.