Should I feel ashamed about hooking up with another guy online?
I'm 18 and i have had strong bicurious thoughts for a while. i don't feel confident enough to hook up with another guy I know mainly because I don't know any gay guys and because I want to be very discreet. I put up an ad on craigslist and found a guy that I would meet up with some time. I've never done anything like this, so I'm nervous and I don't know how I will feel afterwards. I feel like I'll be really ashamed and won't tell anyone so it'll haunt me for a while. But at the same time I really want to experiment and have fun. I'm also worried that something bad might happen because I don't know this person. I have been questioning this guy too just to make sure he's safe, and I'm going to prepare a plan in case something goes wrong.
- Anonymous7 years agoFavorite Answer
Craigslist is very much full of people you do not want to ever meet in real life. I have heard so many horror stories of guys just like you who have done this, and regretted it to the point of depression. Generally the types of guys that will hook up from craigslist are not at all genuine, and will use you and lie to you. Chances are excellent that they are not disease free even though they may think they are. Many STD's can be silent for some people, and then make others very sick.
I know it seems like this is the only way to do what you feel you need to satisfy your curiosity, but the fact is it is a bad idea. The cons of this are much higher than the cons of trying to meet someone in real life and try from there. Trying to date a guy is the way to go. It may not work out at all. It may leave you confused and give you some awkward times, but hooking a guy off of craigslist will do all that and more. There will likely be no good to come from it, but there may be some good from trying something more real. You need to get past your nerves and realize that it's okay to be new and unsure of things. Everybody is at some point. That doesn't mean you need to make the mistake of trying some dangerous, and emotionally damaging anonymous thing. Even if you have to wait a while it will be so worth it. The time it may take you to cultivate a real situation will be nowhere near the time (possibly even years) that it may take you to get over the bad experience you are setting yourself up for, and that is assuming you get away from it safely. Not to say that there is a huge chance of being killed or anything, but thousands and thousands of murders do happen in the United states every year. Sexual situations with a stranger are not the kind of thing that is low risk for that.
Good luck. In the end waiting will be worth it. You just have to get past those nerves, and worries about being unsure and inexperienced.
- FredLv 77 years ago
David obviously you really do want to meet this guy as long as you feel safe. Firstly there is nothing to be ashamed of as there are a lot more bi boys in this world than most people think. Sexual surveys have shown that about 1 in 3 guys admit they have some sexual attractions to other guys. So as you can see you aren't as weird or as alone as you thought. That's 1 guy in 3 that you see everyday but of course most aren't willing to admit it to anyone but the closest friends. It doesn't mean they will think you are the guy of their dreams but we all have our type of guy that interests us. The surveys also showed 8 guys in 10 have been sexual with guys so why should you feel you are weird as all those guys did sexual things because it excited them.
So how do we make this meet safe for you. Perhaps swap names and addresses shown on your license and write it down with your time and place you are to meet and leave it to be found if you don't return, When you meet check out each others license and only go with them if the name and address and their picture on the license looks legitimate. Him knowing his name and address has been left to be found will make sure all stays safe and above board. Perhaps at the agreed meeting place make sure a security camera can see you and the guy so that you leave as much evidence to be checked as possible if the police are called in. If all goes well and very likely it will you just destroy or hide the note you left. It's very unlikely you will meet a guy who is out to harm you so relax and enjoy yourself. Make sure you take fresh condoms and some water based lube as likely that will be the main issue you have to deal with on the day. Have fun.
- MahboiLv 67 years ago
Go to a gay bar. Guys will flock to you being bicurious and all.
- Anonymous7 years ago
online is never good. always meet in person.
it's better this way.
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- 7 years ago
Don't do it !!! You have do clue if the guy has sexual transmitted diseases ! Please don't you will regret it ! They will lie to u just to get to sleep with u !!