How can you tell if the girl you're talking to...?

is being pressured by her parents to marry you? I just read this article about a 16 y.o. British Pakistani girl who was threatened to be killed if she refused to marry some dude she met only once (http://tribune.com.pk/story/556024/uk-teen-threate... ). And it made me wonder what if that happened to me. I mean, what if the girl I'm discussing marriage with is there against her will. Would I be able to tell? It's a scary thought. What signs would you look for?

BQ for South Asians: Is this beheading because of marriage a part of your culture or we're talking about some Wahhabi lunatics? I found a few more similar stories on Google News and I'm a bit worried for you. I don't like these crazy family stories. Be careful. All you need is one crazy family member and here comes Azrail :/

Update:

@Cucumber - So it's just Pakis? Like only 180 million of them? Haha. "Prevention is the best cure" so maybe we should all collectively avoid them. But then again only Allah knows where and with whom we might end up so it's good to be prepared.

I read the comments. I still think you're wrong. We'll have to argu- I mean discuss it sometimes :)

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    This is extremely common in Pakistanis (forced marriages and honour killings). Why? Because majority are cultural and don't really care about Islam.

    It is less common in other South Asians. Indians and Bengalis (the majority) have Islamic marriage style, where they choose their spouse freely without pressure or threats.

    (Not trying to stereotype, hence why I used 'majority', and not 'all'. And I am also being brutally honest. Like it or not people).

    ~ How would you know if the girl you're talking to, is in this situation? Well just ask her, and her family. Then say something like "I have HIV", and see if they still let their daughter marry you. If they do, then they're definitely forcing her, because no one would want to marry someone with HIV. (This is just a method I invented just now. But I'm sure it will work for you and whoever it is you are seeking to marry).

    ~By the way, see my comment to your question here:http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201...

    All the best for your marriage.

    ~

    ~~I don't want to argue. :\ I actually gave the Islamic view (I may be stupid, but Islam isn't). But there really is no Islamic restriction on what colour women can wear or cannot wear.

    Source(s): ~2 people hate my honesty (v-.-v)
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    It's hard to tell but it's sad no one should be forced into marriage it's not just Pakistani's it's most muslims around the world. Here in the USA I knew a girl well I'm Afghan but anyways her parents forced her to marry some guy in Afghanistan and this girl was really pretty she had a good job and a good education. Force marriage is forbidden in Islam but to find out just try to bring up the topic see how she reacts to it say imagine you were forced into marriage or something try something like that and just see how she reacts to it. If she is getting forced she might tell you but, it's really hard now a days istikhara prayer can probably help you because Allah(swt) can see everything and knows everything.

  • JustMe
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Nah..you're fine. I'm surprised to know that you do mingle with people(a conversation with girl in real life(?)). I thought you're just a lad that pretty much a book worm and your computer screen is the only screen you see. And I'm not insulting..I'm sorry if you felt that way. :)

    As for Pakistani and Indian..yeah,it is a part of their culture. Regardless of what faith they believe into..even in Afghanistan. So Islam has nothing to do with this honour killing rubbish.

  • 7 years ago

    According to my understanding, the Wahabism thrives in the northern part of Pakistan (There are also followers of this sect in other areas as minority), and their codes of practice are misguided and brutal as practiced in Saudi Arabia.

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  • 7 years ago

    story is strange and from daily maill... toilet paper journalism..

    however we know this does take place.. you should really communicate with the person i.e their reasons for marriage, if this is what they really want etc..., if need be just marry them to get them the hell away from their family.

  • 7 years ago

    well if you are adult enough to marry, then you pull the girl aside and ask her if she is consenting or not.

    you should have a talk with her privately..

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    you're generalizing. South Asian culture has nothing to do with this crazy things! that's because of her parents! they have lost their mind! don't blame our culture. blame the damn people! not all south asian family are like that! educate yourself, pathetic. if you know nothing about our culture, please remain silent .___.

  • 7 years ago

    If your prophet forced a 6 year old to marry him what do you expect from his followers

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