Anyone experienced domestic violence / abuse from their partner? Do they ever change?

Please try not to judge me. I was that woman that use to comment on other women who experienced domestic abuse from their partners, I always said I would never let anyone treat me like that and wow how the tables have turned. It's been a gradual thing over many years, what started as just an act of lost control... show more Please try not to judge me. I was that woman that use to comment on other women who experienced domestic abuse from their partners, I always said I would never let anyone treat me like that and wow how the tables have turned. It's been a gradual thing over many years, what started as just an act of lost control from my partner has resulted in repeat instances of broken furniture and 'arguments', might happen once a month might happen more or less, it's hard to predict. When my partner's miserable, in a mood whatever I always get the brunt of it. It generally starts with nitpicking from his side, which results in something being broke, i'll react to the broken item then that's when he'll start on me throwing verbal abuse - he calls me a slag, uses our children against me, says hurtful things about my family and generally just shows so much anger towards me. I don't back in to a corner, I stand and speak my mind whether he likes it or not. I just want this anger to stop, but it's now been going on for nearly 3 years and although we've sat down and I've tried to help him with his anger issues as much as I can I don't know what to do anymore. I phoned the police on him for damaging a couple of doors in the house, in hope it might give him a kick up the bum, I thought it had, but after a while things have become bad again. I tell him i deserve to be treat with respect, stop breaking things, but he has an excuse for everything. He tells me he's not 'one of them men', because he doesn't beat down on me he thinks it's ok, but he has been physical generally grabbing or pushing. I've done everything for this guy and I can't understand why he shows so much anger towards me. I've tried to kick him out before when he's been abusive but he won't leave, i've tried to call the police but he smashed the house phone up and hid my mobile so I couldn't call anyone. He uses the kids against me by saying he'll take them away. The house is in my name only for a reason but I can't seem to get the strength to get him out of the house. He'll be all apologetic and tell me he loves me and agrees with everything I have to say about his behaviour and becomes the person I fell in love with (for a short while anyway), this is so confusing because i'm left wondering is that it, have I got through to him, is he going to stop now. It's about me and the kids now but I honestly don't know how I go about leaving him. Financially i'm only just starting to get my life a little better (when he isn't smashing everything) and if i leave I'll just be having debt follow me and will have to pay for damages he has caused, staying will allow me to repair any damages in my own time. I'm pregnant with my second child to this guy, work full time atm. I've been thinking about getting a non molestation order, but I don't know how to go about it or even if it will work. I don't know if I have any strength left to have to deal with this anymore. Any help/advice from anyone who has been in a similar place will be much appreciated.
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