Part 2: How do I cope with my non-HFA boyfriend?

I previously posted the question "If a high functioning autistic (HFA) marries a non autistic, will the marriage be healthy?"

I was even thinking, since my boyfriend is not autistic, and doesn't know much about others with autism besides myself, to send him a book about HFA so he can educate himself about all aspects of HFA, and I don't have to be there explaining it to him.

I have HFA and he does not at all.

So should I send him the book? If not, what are some other solutions, to convey the fact that I want my boyfriend to learn about HFA without sending him a big book to Iowa?


I tried to talk to him about 2 autism signs. We were relating to each other, until I opened my mouth and reiterated the opposite of something he said.... With a truthful thing (won't post it here) but we started arguing about it, and I tried defending it; but then we went from arguing to awkward silence and it got quiet.

So I said "You know what, lets just drop the subject."

But with my autism, I always say some things that people who aren't HFA perceive as me coming off as arrogant, rude, mean, snobbish or sometimes, even, a "Divo", and when those false assumptions come into play based on opinions/judgements from people on things I say, it is EXTREMELY hard to make those scenarios good.

But I never mean them with a rude or mean or any bad intent. It's simply that sometimes I choose the wrong words to use.

1 Answer

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    How would you feel if he sent you a book about people who aren't HFA so you can educate yourself about them?

    I suggest you talk to him. If you can't discuss things with him, it really isn't much of a relationship.

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