Family advice, PLEASE?!?
Okay. I will try to make this as short as possible.
My family has always had dysfunctional issues (like every family, just worse than some).
Basically, my sister-in-law passed away in 2008 (this was a big loss to me, and everyone), my brother has always had anger issues, but this caused him to get very angry and hateful to everyone. (It's understandable, she was only 21 and his high school sweet heart, mother of their 3 children) And also, my mom has said some very hateful things to him because she doesn't like his life style such as- He brought it on him self, and he "killed" her, by not respecting her wishes to start going to church and better their lives and their family.
My brother had not spoke to us in about a year, or a good few months because my mom doesn't like him drinking all the time, and his girlfriend (he met her on the street, she instigates fights, tries to beat my mom up- and supports him when she knows its wrong. ) my brother went through a phase where he called my nephews (at the time 5 & 6 years old) f*gs and pu**ies, Which makes me mad cause they lost their mother, he is selfish to not see they hurt too, young or not! He even got so mad once he beat his room mate up for two hours straight and his girlfriend just laughed. WTF? Obviously he has issues and needs help. But she is just supporting him.
Anyways, then my dad passed away last year, he is my dad but not my brothers dad, although my dad raised him a lot of his life, and has done more for my brother than his own dad has. My dad never changed his life insurance policy - his death was unexpected- so no money was left to my brother, i did make some wise investments with my money, and foolish ones at the same time. I regret not giving him any money but I did try, my mom just said she thinks he would spend it all on drugs. So I KNOW that should have been different, but the money is gone now. What's done is done.
My brother is keeping my nephews and niece from me, I was always close to them, and now he tells them that we hate them, and we love my other brothers children more. Brain washing them. Saying we can't see them unless he gets money. **Let me remind you, he was mad at us way before there was money, he just tries to only mention the money now. I know it hurt him not to get anything, but he is also greedy. My dad gave him $3000 dollars before he passed so my brother could pay his rent cause his money from work just "disappeared" , my dad even stopped answering the phone to him towards the end because all my brother wanted was money or complain about my mom and him fighting.
My mom has become convinced that we are being drugged by my brother and his friends.
(NO ONE is getting in this house, she is SO paranoid and has honestly convinced herself that they are, she's becoming crazy.) She tries to pick fights with me all the time, and it depresses me more after losing my dad, sister, and whole family, I've mentioned getting in counseling to her and she won't go for it. She "doesn't have a problem" But she does...
I don't know what to do, they both act so childish and hateful. I feel like they will never get along but I want to see my nephews and niece and I want my mom to stop going crazy.
Do you know what to do? I know this is so f**ked up, and this is a lot, but it's not even half of it. I just felt it was long enough. I'm 19 and have been depressed for years, I don't know what to do.
I've considered suicide, mainly for long term depression that i've had, but also to show them how much they are hurting people.
I've thought about trying to enter for Dr. Phil, -no I don't want my family to be the entertainment for the rest of the world but I also can't get them to sit down with each-other. If I even tried I would need security. That's how bad they are.
I don't even care if they never completely get along again, i'm just sick of them ripping our family apart. I love all my family, but my nephews and niece are so important to me, I look at them as if they are my own. When their mom passed away I took care of them every day for 6+ months and our bond just grew stronger. I get worried because they were so behind in learning and he doesn't seem to care,, he doesn't give them the love and affection they need or even attention, and I believe they need counseling since their mom has passed.
I am sorry this is SO long, If anyone takes the time to read and answer... thank you SO much <3
- 3 years ago
In view that you do not know why your "sister" is just not invited, i might recommend that you've a dialog together with your aunt and let her know the way dissatisfied you are that your sister just isn't welcome and ask why the trade of coronary heart. It will have to be made clear that your "sister" is your loved ones too and also you cannot assume having Thanksgiving without her; and also you couldn't potentially harm her by leaving her behind. If this does not exchange your aunt's/loved ones's intellect, nothing will. Spend your Thanksgiving with people who find themselves additionally thankful for You. In case your sister most effective has you to spend Thanksgiving with, you should be there for her. She'll not ever omit the sacrifice you made for her. Your aunt may additionally come to the realization that anything made her now not want to invite your sister wasn't valued at it. With a bit of luck, your aunt will recognize she made a hasty declaration and you & your sister will both be at her desk for Thanksgiving and sharing all the things you are grateful for - loved ones being one.
- 7 years ago
You should write them a letter of how you feel. Don't put all of this in there but just the basics like how you feel about your niece and nephew about how you think that they need more love. Writing them a letter would be a good idea. Good luck