Questions about Adam and Eve?

Since they were the first people suposedly, did god have to explain sex and how to make a baby on their own or was god like "oh they'll figure it out; he has a 50/50 shot of getting it in the right hole." And, if eve was made after Adam—does that mean he never had an erection before he saw her. ... show more Since they were the first people suposedly, did god have to explain sex and how to make a baby on their own or was god like "oh they'll figure it out; he has a 50/50 shot of getting it in the right hole."

And, if eve was made after Adam—does that mean he never had an erection before he saw her. That would be weird

Adam: Hey god, whys my thing hard?
God: Don't worry, I'll make something to fix it. Can I barrow a rib?

And if he did have erection b4 eve was created, wouldn't that just make him more confused.
Adam: Hey god, whys my thing hard?
God: I don't know. I haven't made women yet. Just hope it goes down.
Adam: a well, I'm just gunna go butt **** some animals

And what about when eve was on her period, did god have to explain that too or was she like "oh my god, I'm dying!" And, if they were both naked—wouldn't Adam be a bit repulsed at that.
Adam: she's bleeding all over the place god, what should I do?
God: well it's called a period.
Adam: Oh no! I have to kill her.
God: No Adam, put the rock down.

And, when they did have sex, was it outside in the garden infront of all the animals? I don't know about you, but when I'm boning a girl, I don't want my dog eagerly watching. (Or god, for that matter)
And, outdoor sex in a garden doesn't sound good. There are bugs and **** in the grass and you could pick up a lot of diseases.

If god sees everything, he would see them having sex. Does anyone find that the slightest bit creepy.
God: Hey, what're u and eve up to today?
Adam: I'm just gunna **** eve.
God: *sigh* I guess I'll just watch
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