Questions about Adam and Eve?

Since they were the first people suposedly, did god have to explain sex and how to make a baby on their own or was god like "oh they'll figure it out; he has a 50/50 shot of getting it in the right hole."

And, if eve was made after Adam—does that mean he never had an erection before he saw her. That would be weird

Adam: Hey god, whys my thing hard?

God: Don't worry, I'll make something to fix it. Can I barrow a rib?

And if he did have erection b4 eve was created, wouldn't that just make him more confused.

Adam: Hey god, whys my thing hard?

God: I don't know. I haven't made women yet. Just hope it goes down.

Adam: a well, I'm just gunna go butt **** some animals

And what about when eve was on her period, did god have to explain that too or was she like "oh my god, I'm dying!" And, if they were both naked—wouldn't Adam be a bit repulsed at that.

Adam: she's bleeding all over the place god, what should I do?

God: well it's called a period.

Adam: Oh no! I have to kill her.

God: No Adam, put the rock down.

And, when they did have sex, was it outside in the garden infront of all the animals? I don't know about you, but when I'm boning a girl, I don't want my dog eagerly watching. (Or god, for that matter)

And, outdoor sex in a garden doesn't sound good. There are bugs and **** in the grass and you could pick up a lot of diseases.

If god sees everything, he would see them having sex. Does anyone find that the slightest bit creepy.

God: Hey, what're u and eve up to today?

Adam: I'm just gunna **** eve.

God: *sigh* I guess I'll just watch

5 Answers

  • 7 years ago

    Oh don't worry about it. Adam and Eve knew exactly what they were doing. Adam wasn't alone for very long. Adam and Eve were created on the very same day. Who cares if animals were watching them? Animals wouldn't have known what they were doing. There was no diseases in the Garden of Eden. Adam wouldn't have had sexual relations with the animals.

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  • 7 years ago

    Adam and Eve were both born. After Adam was 4 years old, Eve was born. When Adam was 15 years old, Satan tempted Eve and she missed her ovulation and their first sexual intercourse resulted into her first menstruation and they were thinking they will both die. Elohim offered Satan his own favorite Lamb as a sin offering and covered them with the skin of the Lamb which is the image of the sin offering of Christ Jesus on the cross.

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  • 7 years ago

    This is an immature, low-level attack on Christianity. It puts together scenarios that aren't that hard to answer and of little importance, but when put together in such a way of mockery, it can somehow be used by atheists to laugh at Christianity. You, my friend, are pathetic.

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  • 7 years ago

    When you are boning girl guess what....God is watching....and so are all your dead friends and relatives and any dead animals and all the dead aliens...

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  • anon
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    well birds seem to know how to fly without asking

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