you havent read the bible and your man probably dont know it either, a man should teach the women the righteous laws for they can bring order and righteous judgement so you discern good of evil. Read it and you will understand. You are selfish, this is why you live in your past, thinking of what it was and you want that and more so this is what a demon means, to be selfish, you canot see further then the tip of your nose, you do not see what you have and if is good or bad what you have on the contrary everything you have now may be of great value yet you do not see it for the things you wish for are not for you and they are things of the past, pleasant experiences, almost like perfect but is not. You dont know your wrong doings so you will not mention them in your prayers, is impossible for you to understand what humble mean or if it is ok to be humble. Being humble for you means to be weak, this is the demonic thinking. Accept that all that you know is little below nothing, there is so much to know out there in the world and not everything is of evil, there is good spread everywhere all around but to discern you need to read first, read the bible, ask your husband to read it to you, this is how it should be done and you will better understand and learn not to upset God anymore but to turn your own pity whole self to Him and please Him whit the struggling of keeping His laws accordingly and to judge yourself and when you judge someone do it for yourself only and do not point fingers at anyone except telling the people the truth, the wrong doings and that all this truth is simply by two written down in this book. Only a man you wrong is capable to forgive you when you ask him to do so by saying sorry and no damned satanic priest from any church is not capable to forgive your sins to God The Holy Father except The Holy Sacrificed Son. Yes this is why nowadays priests are evil satanic and acting as antichrists, they ask you to go to theyr churches so they take your sins and say to you that your sins are forgiven when the real problem is still out there, you still have a problem whit your sister, brother, mother, father, relatives, neighbors etc. Well, but what do i know? I am nobody and nothing compared whit you, i dont have a preaching diploma neither good english grammar and i think maybe i sound offending to you and stuff so probably you wont even bother to read but whit all this sayd may it be that God bless you and your family and all of us, may He save as many as possible of the worlds people.