Thomas
Lv 7
Thomas asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 7 years ago

Two Flies in Love is beautiful. Can you improve "The Fly Whisperer," and improve upon this poem?

Please pay tribute to these special animals who bring us such happiness. Your C.C. and comments are always welcome. This is an edit job from a poem months back, now re-worked some bit but in truth, am working on another poem and needed a break, and this was just what the Fly Whisperer ordered. Fiction based on fact, this is a tale of a young, blue eyed altar boy who once could catch flies in mid-air or off the table, and had a good deal of kids, even adults, rooting him on at a place called Oakwood. Very cool. Those that star my poems are always appreciated as well as those who answer. Thanks, Thomas

____________________________________________________________________________

The Fly Whisperer

Hello, let me introduce myself

My name is Kindly Plantice

I would love to share with you a talent

Many laugh, but this is no riant matter

Years ago I was nicknamed “The Fly Whisperer”

It started out harmless- as a kid; I caught flies

No, didn’t squish em, torture em; but loved them

They became more than pets, they became my life

I was able to catch them with my bare hands

Sedentary or flying, there was no escaping me

They were kept as house pets, or set free

Many times I would go for walks with a Fly

Permission granted, abscond with one long hair

Tied gently around fly’s neck we’d go for a stroll

One time I married a couple that flew off happy

Which couple enplaned happier I never found out

Finally, this got in the local news, even beyond that

I am the guy that put the fly swatter out of business

No more killing flies; the most they need is a time out

Marriages have even been saved by The Fly Whisperer

It is my fervent hope that I talk with you all again

Thank you Kindly

__________________________________________________________________

Update:

neonman: thanks for your answer. Okay,........... the young man catches flies. He takes a long hair from someone with long hair...and ties one end to a flies leg, and the other end to the other flies leg, and they both fly off happily ever after. Or, like I said, you want to go for a walk, take the fly with you. The rest of poem were just benefits of his talents and being able to put fly swatter out of business (fiction....of course) and save a few marriages....the metaphor of tying two closer together, or tying the know, guess did not work, or the jury is still out perhaps. :) Thomas

Update 2:

One thing not addressed here of yet is the question itself. Notice the request to "improve" twice for two separate things.

______________________________________________________________________________

Update 3:

Oh bly me, forgot >>> thanks for the stars and answers so far. Very wonderful. Now I can get this other poem going please let it work oh Lord

______________________________________________________________________________

Update 4:

Sorry for spelling error and confusion it might have had in first larger paragraphy above in add'l details, second to last line, at the end, should read "tying the knot" Tommy Hi-Hi

_______________________________________________________________________________

15 Answers

Relevance
  • Favorite Answer

    Hi :)

    I find this to be , once again ,

    another interesting read and

    again , a smile on my face . .

    Not to take away from your

    talent , but it doesn't take

    much to put a smile on my

    face :D lol

    I found it to be not only a simple

    read ,

    (simple as in understanding:P)

    .. but one that showed compassion

    as well as an interesting topic .

    I love anything that has a good ending.

    It can have a sad ending as long as

    there is compassion , I'm good .

    You see , I am a compassionate

    person (most of the time) don't get

    me wrong , I can get stupid :D

    especially when it comes to bullies

    or animal abuse .

    Don't let the angel face fool ya lol

    that's what my friends at work are

    quick to tell the new comers . .

    and that's a good thing , bc I"m

    the first one to back someone up

    that is being mistreated .

    I look at myself sometimes , and

    wonder ..

    who am I? :) I hurt when I see someone

    else hurt , I cry often over it and

    sometimes

    I am down for days .... (real life or TV)

    it doesn't matter . You hurt , I hurt .

    Then again sometimes , I get stupid

    and go off ..

    Who am I ? sometimes Idk

    bc sometimes I fear how I will

    react :P

    I'd never hurt anyone or anything ,

    I say that and I really feel that way ,

    but I would squash a fly in a

    second lol

    Cute story and I find Kindly Plantice

    inspirational . How strange is that ?

    for me , not strange at all , for

    others ,

    prolly so .

    I liked it . Why can't we all just

    get along . . . .

    @Yorkshire Man .. Mothers are so beautiful . Srry to hear ab your mother / Dementia

    -New name? Doubting Thomas :)

    GOD BLESS YOU ALL

    Thumbs up for everyone :) no worries , those that TD are just jealous ....

    don't let them bother you .

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 6 years ago

    Some years back I kept a Praying Mantis as a pet, and they only eat live food! Consequently, I acquired the skill of GENTLY capturing live flies in flight, or off any surface, so that I could feed my Mantis uninjured and active prey. Most moving incident was late one night when on arrival home I found my Mantis shedding its skin. I watched, enthralled, for over an hour and I shall never forget seeing my Mantis gradually extend and spread its brand new rainbow-shimmering wings. Next day I released it onto a grapevine in my garden, the same garden in which I subsequently found a swarm of very tiny, recently hatched mantids! They are the cutest little creatures you could ever imagine.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 7 years ago

    Sorry to say but my frog just swallowed one. I hope it wasn't an offspring of the couple you married.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Lorry
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    You have opened my eyes.. another way to see the humble pest.. I could not help but cackle as i read another of your brilliant poems Bri.. Hilarious and yet insightful... It makes me think of how i once felt as a child and even now to this day, about animals.. I often imagined how they must feel and what they would say if only they could speak.. Can't say as i ever loved flies though..lol.. but now i have a different perspective on them.. If they stay outside their marriages will last here too..lol. (-:

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 7 years ago

    Thomas, Here's the definition of a FIGHT---one of your flies lands on a piece of the Cheese Whisperers cheese----yeeech! Anyway, a very imaginative write(whether auto-biographical or not).I wouldn't change anything. An animal got down in the flupipe of my furnace about a month ago, and for two weeks or so I had at least 10 flies a day in my house.I had to hang up the fly paper---should I have started a kennel?--------------Good Job-------william

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Nat
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Much more feasible than "A Flea Circus"

    Unique story, well penned into an interesting read, DT

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 7 years ago

    I don't like flies, but they are a very important part of the food chain, as other animals eat them or their offspring.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 7 years ago

    Such a unique poem ( that's the truth no compliment) New idea knitted with fine threads of words. I think these poems should not be confined to the stars or comments of YA ( I hope I am wrong) and that you do share them with the world, and if you don't then I hope you give my advise a second thought :) Good luck ... a thumb down to whoever thumbs me down ^_^

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    And I thought I had an imagination, Yes I know I have one. Thomas! you beat the crap out of mine Bro, I'm ok with that, no! honest injun I am.

    I read it once again thinking some of it might rub orf onto me. Thomas I feel an idea coming, quick write some more...lol

    On a serious note T, I really didn't know what to make of it, that is when my old mum steps in and covers my a.s.s. Do you know she was eighty years old in early stages of dementia before I realized that this woman, my mother WAS A REAL FUNNY PERSON WITH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 7 years ago

    More of a biography then a poem.

    No,I'm not a story writer,

    Can not improve.

    Flies alight on the nastiest piles.

    Yup...nice job...byeeexxx

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.