-
Lv 7
- asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 7 years ago

What are your c/c's of this poem, The Coming of Dread?

The Coming of Dread

It sweeps down like a huge black crow,

flapping wings in the wind

the sole warning of

descent.

Its shadow blocks the sun

as it lands and regally

swivels its head.

This scavenger of souls,

with talons fatal to

prey in their grip.

You cover your head with your

arms for protection,

but an approaching dark cloud

smothers the blue from

your sky.

The flapping sound reaches

a deafening crescendo,

driving you ultimately

mad.

You surrender,

lie still,

as their beaks peck at

your eyes,

waiting for the

nightmare

to be over.

Update:

Edit: Please change last line to:

to end.

Update 2:

Thank you, Thomas, but you are correct with "The BirdS." It starts with only one crow landing, but that approaching dark cloud is a whole slew of 'em, coming in for attack, which is why the flapping becomes deafening. I would have emailed this to you, but looks like you closed that option.

This poem could be about depression, fear, a feeling of doom, pain, anything.

10 Answers

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  • doe
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have never been able to put that feeling into words- this to me is perfect! I have had those feelings before the crows come - all my life. I have prayed not to know because it scares me knowing I have no idea what will be, I have no way of stopping it, but I know it's coming. Oh ma I love you so much for this and I hug you and pray- be strong and brave.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I think this is a wonder-write. It reminds me of the feed back this would fester if I posted this type of poem on my facebook page. My brother would have the white coat cops after me. This is why I don't dare share some of my dark stuff of facebook. Here, however, where many understand the art of poetry and the many different faces it wears, this type of write brings praises from those who are able to think in many dimensions. I think it is an amazing work.

  • 7 years ago

    The Bluebird Of Happiness?

  • Thomas
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    ma

    You write in a way that I just do not know how too, but I could

    not improve upon this at all, though I am sure you could.

    This was gripping to me from the start, and to its climatic finish,

    and what is similar to what I try to do at least is take the reader

    to your 'space' wherever you have decided. Here, I felt like I was

    in the movie "The Birds" except take the 's' off the end, and I must

    deal with the talons of this one nemesis for my survival.

    Wonderful imagery you created, and not overplayed, just enough

    to sink myself into one hell of a nightmare tonight. lol

    Well done

    Congrats

    ______________

    Edit: Whew, Man O' Beanie, look at them TD's. I tell you it's amazing.

    Look at my answer. Oh well. Lord bless em.

    Ma, my email is back up. I had to remove it for a week or so for some

    personal reasons. Very good poem indeed. Keep up the great poetry.

    _____________________________________________________________

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  • 7 years ago

    Like the cicadas that are going to smother us this spring as they emerge from their 17-year cycle.

  • 7 years ago

    Ma--are sure this isn't the economy?-----Anyway, I enjoyed the poem.It's very descriptive, has a nice buildup, and as was already commented, is very eerie(and you know how I feel about those things)---Nice Job------william

  • 7 years ago

    This is frighteningly good.

    Very vivid...can almost feel the pain.

  • 7 years ago

    Your write, too, reached its own amazing crescendo with "smothers the blue from your sky"...I am SOOOOOOOO glad you still writin' darlin'! :)

    WRITE ON!

  • 7 years ago

    Eerie stuff..!

  • 7 years ago

    Or you dare them to caw louder

    peck harder

    and stay longer.

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