Himedal asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 7 years ago

will you please comment on this cliched poem?

Chorus

In the darkest recess I sit

writing poems for you

cliched, yet I can't help it

As winds blow in me

Singing your name

In a cold, sorrowful chorus

Himedal

May2013

9 Answers

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  • Nat
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Best Answer

    A great example of what can be

    accomplished with 6 lines.

    This poem packs a subtle "wallop".

    No over-used word or phrase here.

    Kudos to you, T.

  • 3 years ago

    I preferred like to be an amusement park and we're the comedians in it We chortle we cry we act we entertain with a price to make all happy. The hazard we take if any if we shouldn't have a aware coronary heart.

  • 7 years ago

    I was thinking of writing a poem beginning in a similar way, just a few hours ago, with the word 'darkest' in the first line. I was going to write 'in the darkest corner of the room'.

    If I had written this, I would name it 'Loneliness'.

  • 7 years ago

    Himedal , Can I be truthful with you without you thinking I'm being rude ? You no I always read you're Poetry and it's great . ''This one I can't absorb' it's message is confusing me

    Does that come as a surprise no not really because I'm easily confused .

    Nice to see you're posting, and you're poem speaks warmly to me, very fresh keen and young .

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  • 7 years ago

    It's not only a beautiful fragment, but a very sad one.

    I'm glad to see you being inspired, what ever the reason...x

  • ?
    Lv 5
    7 years ago

    I found this astonishingly beautiful and universal. I see nothing cliché about it.

  • 7 years ago

    nice,thank you for the short poem.

    must be a death metal choir.

    bye!

  • 7 years ago

    It's not cliched...it's rings true and real.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I found it very confusing, choppy towards the end. Keep posting.

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