Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 7 years ago

Before marriage husband and I agreed we both wanted children, now he won't acknowledge our daughter?

We talked about children during our whole relationship and we agreed on the fact we both wanted children. A year after being married we found out I was pregnant. We were both really excited. Everything was great till two days after our daughter was born. He began ignoring her, talking to women online and getting violent. I moved out and we have been struggling every since. He makes every excuse not to see our daughter. He wants to see me, but not her. I've told him if he can't be a father then I do not want to be with him, so he will turn things around saying I don't let him see her. Our daughter is now one and he's still making excuses. Yesterday I told him his mom could come get her and bring her to see him and he told me if I didn't bring her he didn't want to see her. I told him I didn't want to see him so it wasn't going to happen. He accused me again of keeping his daughter from him and blamed me for breaking up our "family". I'm getting tired of these games, but I don't want her to think later it was my fault he's not in her life.

Update:

He hasn't seen her since she was 6 months.

Update 2:

He is in the marines and has already been reprimanded once for being violent. We've been together four years and this didn't start till after our daughter was born.

7 Answers

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  • 7 years ago
    Best Answer

    All you can do is record the conversation and or save the texts/emails.

  • 7 years ago

    He's trying to control you. He's using your daughter in an attempt to manipulate you into doing what he wants.

    It's despicable.

    Don't allow him to hold you hostage. You are not preventing him from having a relationship with his daughter, nor are you withholding her from that side of her family. You get to set some rules, so you're ok, and accordingly, you'll be a better mum to your little girl.

    The future is a long way away, and you dont know how it will all pan out. Worry about your needs and your daughters needs right NOW. Your husband is a grown adult (even if he's acting like a child) and can look out for his own interests.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Maybe is for the best to keep your daughter away from him as he seems to have some serious issues going on, let him fix himself before anymore real contact.

  • 7 years ago

    It sounds to me like you guys got married too young. Regardless just give him space. I know that if I just got married and had a kid within the span of a year or two I would feel like a lot of my freedoms got taken away and/or restricted really quickly, he just needs growing room.

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  • ???
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    He's not going to bond with her if he doesn't see her, and he won't see her unless you take her to him. Stop being stubborn and do what you have to (which really isn't much!) to get her father involved in her life.

  • 7 years ago

    Given his violent nature...unless he is going to visit supervised...don't you think it's better he's not around? Just saying...

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I would cut all contact with that loser. What a fvcking douche. You sure know how to pick 'em.

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