Is fearing God the same as fearing an abusive husband?

Battered wife syndrome symptoms are:

1. The woman believes that the violence was her fault. (Christians believe sin is their fault)

2. The woman has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere. (Sort of the same as the first one)

3. The woman fears for her life and/or her children's lives. (Hell and eternal damnation or even fear of god hurting them for "sins" they commit or might commit in their daily lives)

4. The woman has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient. (This one is kind of obvious. Being everywhere all the time and seeing all is kind of God's thing)

Also this sounds a lot like God:

You're nothing without God. If you even think about leaving Him... You don't deserve Him. You'll never find anyone good as Him. You brought this upon yourself. God knows best. You're a terrible person, and you need Him to be better. You're not worthy of His love. He is only doing this because he loves you. Don't listen to anyone who doesn't understand what you and God have. etc.

Sounds like an abusive douchebag to me.

29 Answers

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  • Cosmic
    Lv 6
    7 years ago
    Best Answer

    Whoops, you did it again. Good points Britney; I mean Cora. :-)

  • 6 years ago

    I'm not religious, but I do have heavy sociological / anthropological background.

    If you feel the need to "fear" your God, then it's because you feel guilty for something, or you want to feel victimized.

    Most folks don't fear their God. They love their God. God is like the ultimate leader. As Machiavelli said, a good leader must be both loved and feared. If he is just loved, then people will still do what they want against his wishes at times. If he is just feared, then they won't love their own lives, only doing what he wants out of fear of ramifications. If they love and fear him, then they will do what he wants out of love and respect first, and out of fear second.

    Let me try to use a different analogy for God...

    God, in most peoples' eyes, is like a good parent. A good parent uses 2 parts love and 1 part discipline to ensure people lead a good life. 1 part love is unconditional. God loves you unconditionally, because you are his creation. (Just as a parent loves their child unconditionally). 1 part love is for positive reinforcement. God shows you love to reward your good behavior. This is what most folks call "blessings", "miracles", etc. Parents do the same with them children; give them hugs when they succeed. 1 part discipline is used for negative reinforcement. God punishes people when they've been bad. Parents do the same to children.

    Now, most people will follow a Godly life simply because they respect and love God due to 1 part unconditional love, and 1 part positive reinforcement. If that doesn't work then they fear the 1 part discipline.

    However, what's "blessing" and "punishment" from God is subjective. Different religions, and even individuals, may see something as a blessing while others see it as a curse. Everyone can see whatever they want into something.

    When a mother hugs a child, it's pretty tangible that it's a hug. But, when a person finds $5 on the street is that a blessing? What if it just enables them to do something bad?

    I think the better way to look at God is that he gives people chances. The $5 is an opportunity. How the person chooses to use that opportunity dictates whether it's a "blessing" or "curse".

  • 7 years ago

    That isn't even close. If you had a real belief in God then one would have no problem getting out of the situation and putting their faith in God to rescue them. An abusive husband takes away free will to choose. God gives you free will. Remember it was an abusive religious man who stated in the bible: Women obey your husband as God." That would be idolization and women are equal to men. So consider the revisions the bible has undergone and compare that to government regulations historically. Strickingly similar right.

  • 7 years ago

    I think,

    in the logical or scientific way,

    the answer is yes,

    because the difference in active ingredients loose importance

    if the end product is the same.

    And that may be the reason,

    the Hinduism ask their women to treat their husbands as the Gods or ( pati parmeshvar in hindi ).

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Lets take sex out of this combined question and break it down. Fear gods wrath, Do we deserve punishment/karma for our bad spouse choice.

    Everyone should fear gods wrath. Whether you are hindu, muslim, christian, jew, or anything....if you do wrong you do not feel right in your gut. Do not do what feels wrong.

    Do you deserve your thoughtful punishment? Well that is all in how you view things. I was faced with this situation. I am a man but I married a woman hell bent on violence and when it turned to the idea of leaving her I was left with the idea that I would pay dearly and owe her ungodly amounts of child support. I suffered for quite some time and finally the right answer came my way and I gained custody of my children and she spent time in jail. I re-married to a woman that I felt fondness for....she did not pursue her ex husband for support and is entirely against conflict. We have been happily married for years since. To recap events....My ex; a woman, was horribly violent and got put in her place. I never wanted nor bothered with child support because I am happy to have my children and I am not bitter so she has her time with them. I am married to a truly understanding woman that fits what I want and I am not violent towards her as her ex husband was. She was understanding enough to not self punish her ex husband for his wrong-doings. We and all of our children are happy. Cora I would gladly emphasize on my answers and perhaps you can better word your questions so they arent so muddy.

  • 6 years ago

    You all are missing the role God asks of the male in the marriage. The husband is called to love the wife as Christ loves the church. Until you fully understand what that means for the husband's behavior within the marriage you will not understand what is asked of from the wife. You see it as one sided.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    It seems like an overarching theme in this is that Christians believe God will reprimand them for their sins. I don't think Christians who truly understand the Bible and know Jesus will say this. Because Jesus, who lived a perfect life, died on the cross for our sins, God sees those who put their faith in Him as sinless. Thus, we are forgiven when we sin because of his grace...God does not "punish" us for sinning. I hope I explained that decently; I know it's a hard concept to grasp.

    As for the battered wife comparison, there is a major difference between true Christians and battered wives--Christians who truly know Jesus are happy and fulfilled...battered wives are not. This is because as humans we tend to idolize things, such as material wealth or the acceptance of others, and those things will often lead to disappointment and hurt. However, when you put your worth on Christ with the firm belief that God completely accepts you regardless of your performance at work, school, etc, then you absolutely do not feel worthlessness and treat every task, even ones that most people would hate, as an opportunity to let his love show through you to others.

    Bottom line: A relationship with God is about love, not abuse or fear.

  • 7 years ago

    @Hope is certainty: Your statement is untrue. I have a very abusive ex-husband. I was most certainly NOT an active participant in him being abusive, I did fight back, fight to protect my children from him, and as you can notate, he is my EX!

    @Poster: The similarities are quite logical. Unfortunately, you will find they fall on a lot of deaf ears (or more accurately, blind eyes, as this is the internet).

  • 4 years ago

    show love like God shows love

    God may heal us because we might bring the word of Jesus to other people,

    the Lord goes to another person and does the same thing he goes on and on.

    punishes to see how long you can last before you give in and give to the Lord.

  • 7 years ago

    An abusive husband can actually cause physical and mental harm. God is nonexistent so the suffering comes from the religion and the leaders that are involved.

  • Ann
    Lv 4
    6 years ago

    On the surface this may sound like a good analogy, but sin does not equal violence. And Christians believe that we are all FORGIVEN for our sins through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

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